Two Kids and a Husband

Its on its way!

2009-04-27T08:07:00.004-04:00

The last month has been a wirlwind. Johnston Photography is on its way! The website is up...but not completed. This has been a trial and error kind of month. I never realized how difficult it is to create a website. (I need a vacation) LOL.

We recently shot an aspiring actors photos. That was a lot of fun.

On May the 9th we are shooting three Engagement sessions!

Also next month we will be starting to tackle marketing. We are still designing business cards and Fliers and will be making the trip to vendors so we can forge some relationships with local businesses and hopefully they will want to represent us in exchange for the same!

Were taking the plunge!

2009-03-30T07:39:00.003-04:00

My sister and I have decided to start a business. Its been something we have talked about for years and a dream we both had and we are taking the plunge... we are starting a photography business.

Johnston Photography.

We are doing all the prep work, registering the company, creating business bank accounts, buying more equipment, buying a domain name and setting up a website and email account.

There are a million things that need to be done, but we are passionate... and I am so excited to start this venture with the only person in the world I would ever go into business with!!

Wish us luck.

Jul

March Break!

2009-03-18T17:39:00.003-04:00

I took this week off for March break. Rob has been off work for a few months and he is going back to work on the first of April, so I thought that it would be fun to take the week off and we could spend it as a family.

My intention was to receive our tax return on Monday (when we expected it) and we could spend the week out and about doing march break things.

My intention and reality are two different things. Turns out the government MAILED the tax return on Monday which means that now it is Wednesday night and we have not recieved it yet. So we have been forced to stay home all week.

I expected that we would spend the week fighting, arguing, saying things like "I'm bored" but it has not turned out like that... The weather has been beautiful and we have been able to spend a lot of time outside in the back yard park, the kids have been playing with the neighbourhood kids and we have been able to meet and talk to a few of the parents.

We live in a stacked townhouse and we live on the top floor... so we have a little balcony and have to walk our laundry and groceries etc up and down 4 flights of stairs... I am sure I have mentioned in the past that my husband suffers with CMT (no not the country music channel-although that would be suffering) ... it is Charcot Marie Tooth syndrom. It is a degenerative neuropathinc disorder that deforms the feet and ankles! He has had three reconstructive surgeries.

Well a downstairs unit is available and being fixed up at this point and we have put our name into that apartment. I am looking forward to getting down to that apartment as it has a back yard that is fenced in for the kids and the dog and it backs onto the park. It also means that we do not have to carry our laundry and groceries up four flights of stairs anymore!

So this week has ended up being a blessing in disguise. If we got the money we would not have been in the park, we would have not found the unit available, we would have not applied for it, and we would not have had so much fun watching the kids play so nicely in the park!

Happy march break to all of you!

Prayer and Faith.

2009-03-13T07:47:00.002-04:00

our family has struggled with the idea of religion...the idea of organized religion more specifically. In the last 8 years of our life my husband has battled with health problems, high blood pressure, diabetes, CMT, and Bipolar disorder, just to name a few. It has been an uphill battle, one we have been sure on many occasions we would not make it through.

Just over a month ago an uncle who we both look up to and respect got really sick, he was in hospital fighting for his life. And for the first time in a VERY long time Rob prayed. We all did. Im happy to report that my uncle is back home and resting. Doing much much better.

During that time a lump developed on Robs leg. It was VERY painful and we didn't know what it was. We saw Dr.s and did exams and it turned out to be a blood clot. It is in a spot that is not dangerous... But the pain was almost unbearable....And Rob prayed, he prayed for the pain to be relieved... and it was! The following morning almost all the pain was gone! He believes!

Other signs have been presenting themselves to us. Daily. Little things, like we ran out of money and needed some more...not a lot just a cushion...and yesterday a check showed up for $100 with a bible! Today I got to work and had to change desks and there is a sticker on the computer that says: Jesus said, "I am the way, the truth and the life..." john 14:6.

Some people will say it is coincidence and nothing more... and maybe that is true, but I will tell you something.

This has improved our home. It has made Rob more tollerent of our children, a more attentive husband, a better friend and that makes me believe!!

2009-03-11T07:01:00.002-04:00

About a week ago I got a phone all from a family member asking me to pick up another family member from the airport. She is flying in from her new home in the United States and I live in Toronto so by default I am the closest to the Toronto International Airport.

Have you ever driven through the airport? ya, Hell on Earth! I accidently ended up in the airport once and it took me 25 minutes to find my way out! So I was not looking forward to going there at 10:30 at night, waiting around, and then driving her to another family members house. This means I would be home at around midnight... and up again at 5am for work. Needless to say I was not looking forward to doing this.

Last night at 8pm I got a phone call again telling me she missed her flight and now has to take a flight with stop overs and her plane wont be in until 11:30am today. I work full time and can not take time off work, so I suggested what I should have before...Take a cab. This is Toronto! Its not that expensive. Cost me $40 from the airport to my house in January. She said "I don't know if she brought enough money"!!!!!!!!!

Pardon? Your flying from a southern state to Canada...I HOPE you had the forthought to bring enough cash for a cab ride!!!!

Then it dawned on me... This woman is 34 years old. She is a grown woman. How anyone misses a flight now is beyond me, They are clear...be at the airport 3 HOURS before your flight... she missed her flight because of CONSTRUCTION on the way.... She is old enough to figure out how to get from the airport to her destination without having me or anyone take the afternoon off to pick her up and drop her off. That is what a CAB does. Or she could take a shuttle to the subway or a bus ....

Welcome back to Canada, we love you. Figure it out!

Bedtime Stories

2009-03-10T08:24:00.002-04:00

Gavin: "Momma your sooooo beautiful"

Momma: "Thank you Gavin"

Gavin: "Am I cool?"

Momma: "Gavin you are Cooler then anyone"

Gavin: "I love you"

Momma: "I love you bud!"

Gavin-Twirls my hair in his fingers and falls asleep!

This is what dreams are made of!

April Showers bring May flowers... Right?

2008-05-09T10:01:00.003-04:00

wow it has been a long time since I updated this site. I think i have trouble coming here to write when things are not going to well. I should be coming here when things are hard to write them out and get feedback or just to get it off my chest...

My cat died. It was horrible. Bear was less then a year old! I miss him so much.... I didn't want him to die and I feel bad...I feel like it is my fault. It is my fault. He was sick on Wednesday I knew that but I thought that he was just not feeling well and that he would get better like a flu or something... he did not get better! It was horrible!

My husband is sick. The problem is we don't know if it is physical or mental and either way it sucks. He was in the hospital last weekend and they ran a cat scan and didn't find anything to be concerned about, then they ran an MRI to look deeper, then they sent us home with instructions that if the symptoms persisted or worsened to get back to the hospital and that we would hear from them on Monday... We heard from them on Tuesday calling to make an appointment. The doc is out for this week and we are on vacation next week.... waiting 2 weeks to find out if there is something really wrong sucks...and the stress of that is getting to both of us.

We handle stress completely differently...I talk about it and conger everything into a positive spin...like well they probley want to see you to tell you everything looks good. Rob sees everything as doom and gloom...he is convinced he is dying! And because of that has sent himself into panic attacks that he is having trouble recovering from. He came home from work last night very upset and is off today... he is going to the doctor and hopefully they will be able to tell him what the heck is wrong.

On a light note, The kids are as cute as ever.. Emily who used to be my baby is a big girl. She is so sweet and caring. When Rob wasn't feeling well she stayed back and held his hand to the car and layed her head on his side... like a caring person would do. Gavin is, well Gavin... he is getting a little better... His temper tantrums have subsided a little bit but we still deal with them daily. He is at the age that everything his sister does annoys him and is worthy of screaming about.... its frustrating but completely normal.

We are going up north this weekend and I will be sure to take a lot of pictures... We are all looking forward to the break and plan to enjoy the peace and serenity of nature and clean air.

And hopefully a healthy and happy family will return!

He would get a BJ every day....

2008-02-29T20:13:00.011-05:00

This is what I came home to last night.And this....And don't forget this!!!

And when I went to bed last night it looked like this.....

And like this...

Yup I did all of this before bed..

Im just saying if I could come home to a tidy house everyday I would have time to give him a BJ every single day... !!! Just saying....

Julie

This much

2008-02-12T12:19:00.000-05:00

Have you ever stopped to ask yourself about love?

I mean we say "I love you" everyday but do we really know WHY? I LOVE my husband. He drives me nuts, he doesn't pick up after himself, he doesn't often contribute to our household, he has next to no patients with the kids and is sometimes downright misserable... But I love him.

Recently I have been thinking about WHY I love him... I already know that I wou ld go to the ends of the earth for him...that I respect him and feel secure in his embrase, but why do I love him.

And the aswer is simple and complex... I love Rob because he loves me, I love him because when no one is looking he gazes at me with his big brown puppy dog eyes and melts my heart, he doesn't hesitate to wrap his long arms all the way around me and make me feel like nothing can get me so long as his arms are around me. When I have an opinion he listens, he discusses options and ideas with me rather then just doing things and thinking of me afterwards, He takes me into consideration. He thinks I am beautiful, He tells me I am beautiful, he rubs my hair and my back, he eats my cooking adn says it is good even if it isnt' so good. The list goes on.

We have had some pretty rough times. Some times I have questioned just how much more I can take...some times when I litterally question our longevity. I HAVE questioned his love for me. I have questioned his sincerity. There have been times when I have not been attracted to him or thought he was a good person. There have been times when he has broken my heart.

I suspect everyone has had these same feelings with their spouse...but no matter what has happened we always find a way to pull up our boots look eachother in the eye and say "I believe we are worth fighting for" ... I believe Rob is worth fighting for! I believe we will make it...

Happy V-day hunny...there is no one on this earth that I would like to spend this day with other then you!

You get one shot!

2008-01-31T21:13:00.001-05:00

Its challenging being a parent on the one hand my heart aches for my children. The need for them to be in my arms, on my lap snuggling and telling them how much I addore their every breath is overwhelming. I want my children to know that they are wanted and needed and that I would give my very life to keep them safe and happy. I want to provide them with every possible opportunity that I can, so that they can grow to be strong independent thoughtful and respectful human beings. i want to wrap them in a cloak of warmth and safty and hand them out to the unforgiving world and know that they will come home. I want to hold them tight and yet still keep them independent.
I also recognize just how much our generation is coddling our little ones. I don't question for one second why there are school shootings, why little kids are swearing at their parents, why no one holds a door open anymore or why we are being over run by teen gangs. Reality is that we as parents are holding our kids so close never wanting to set them free for even one second taht they are rebelling against us. they know we don't have the balls to follow through with a damn thing we say. They know that if they want something they don't have to work for it to get it. They understand that the tides have changed and that our love for our children is the very thing pushing them away.
My six year old thinks she runs the world. She is bossy and demanding. If she breaks something she says " Oh well, mom will just get me a new one!" She is super concerned about what her 'friends' think of her and often complains about what was placed in her lunch box for the day. She cares only for herself. Oh don't get me wrong she loves me and she loves her dad and brother but she is self absorbed. yet on the other hand she is one of the most caring people I know. Her sweet little smile is infectous, her cuddles I would pay for. the smell of her hair, and the feel of her hand in mine is what life is made of.
I am fully aware that there are heartbreaking stories around the world of parents who would give their own lives for just one minute of time more with their kids. I think of those parents and say a silent prayer for them everytime things get out of hand at my house. I try to remember all 'these' problems are so very small in comparison of how things could be.
But I also struggle with taking that step back if only for a few moments to appreciate my kids. To revel in the noise rather then trying to stop it, to hold onto the memory of their infant, now grown kid hands. To take a moment to realize having children to clean up after incessently is a gift rather then a curse.
where is that scale that shows you how to make things even? why isn't there some common ground where you can adore your children the way your heart tells you to, to be able to handle the noise, the mess, the fighting and be able to enjoy it rather then getting angry about it. And to also even out the scale by raising children who know and understand disapline, hard work, sacrifice, manners, confidence, independence, creativity, and how to be functioning and good human beings. here are the faces of our future. Gosh I hope I don't screw this up!

what are you doing?

2008-01-02T08:44:00.000-05:00

Still amazed: That I have been blessed with my wonderful family.
Still getting used to: Having to work for a living. (don't think I will ever be used to it)
Still loving: My dear Hubby.
Still proud of: My ability (or lack of) to keep the ball in the air all these years.
Still not proud of: How i manage money.
Still hoping: for the lottery fairy to come and make me RICH.
Still worried: about money...again think i will always worry about this.
Still never going to: have unprotected sex with a Gorilla... unless he takes me out to dinner first :)
Still pretending: that I have everything in control.
Still reading: ...reading? who has time for that?
Still wanting to read: More Harry Potter...too bad the last book has already come out and been read!
Still interested in: learning how to make my life better.
Still not interested in: Fashion or hollyweird.
Still looking forward to: a comfortable warm amazing life.
Still not looking forward to: paying bills.
Still failing: to pay bills
Still grateful for: my kids and my husband.
Still praying: that the lottory fairy will take a liking to me.
Still not believing in: my ability to say NO
Still believing in: You.
What are YOU still doing?

Jelous much?

2007-12-30T19:59:00.000-05:00

My kids have bunk beds that is an L shape. Often I rearrange the kids room to try to utilize the small amount of space they share!

Last week I changed their room again which means I had to remove the latter from the Left side of the bunk to the right side. My intention was to re-bolt it down the following day. I warned Emily that it was not bolted down and told her to make sure she holds on to the top rail as she is walking in so that if the latter should fall she will be holding on.

Well tomorrow turned into next week turned into today.... she was going up the latter and BOOM down it came with her on it... INSTANT nose bleed...I am sure she fractured it a little. I is still straight and doesn't hurt her to touch it. The bleeding stopped JUST in time for Gavin to fall off the GARBAGE can in the kitchen while he was reaching for the CHOCOLATE CHIPS I bought for baking.... He bit a hole in his tounge. Blood is pouring from his little mouth.

I call this extream jelousy! I figure Gavin saw Emily's blood and wanted to experience the same kind of pain? What do you think?

Single woman? Married man!

2007-12-29T18:33:00.000-05:00

I have come to realize something that I think every Married woman should know. Single women can sniff out a married man a mile away. I have known this for a long time, I have pondered it for a long time.

The reason I know this to be true is because Rob and I have been together for a very long time. Basically since we were 16 years old. When we were teens, girls were not really interested in Rob. He was a bit over weight and he has a very strong personality. The type of guy you either LOVE or you Hate...

Girls back then wanted the "trophy" boyfriend, the buff hot boy who would treat them like shit. Rob was not this type of guy and so dates were a little less then abundant.

Now that he is a grown man and in a committed relationship with ...ME... women seem to be much more interested in him. I will forward by saying he is a flattering guy, he will tell you if you look good today. If you complain you are too fat or ugly or whatever he will remind you how pretty you are... one of the very many reasons I love him like I do...

I think women are not used to hearing that... and of course they love it, they eat it up.

Back to my origional point... Women love married men. And this is my theory on why that is. I think women can smell despiration. A man who is single is looking for meat...he is on the prowel for his next Lay. He is searching for someone to suit his needs and of course women are not attracted to that at all, they want a man who is confident and satisfied and sucessful. A married man is not despirate... they know where their next meal is coming from and although it might not be tonight or tomorrow night it is coming and they don't have to search so they are NOT despirate. They are confident in themselves and of course have a 'you can't have me' thrill of the chase thing going on.

The sucky part about it is that men are men and new is always tempting. The question becomes is that man strong enough, confident enough, loving enough, In love enough with his wife enough to resist.

I think he is, I hope he is. The true quest of a sucessful marriage. Keeping things new and interesting and not loosing yourself in the everyday.

wow its been a long time

2007-12-19T07:36:00.000-05:00

time has gotten away from me... with School for emily and needing to get new daycare, to getting a new position at work has taken all my time and left me little to no time to update here.

Not even sure anyone is reading this but just in case you are.... Rob did not get into trouble at work... just a verbal warning. So that is good!

I got a new position at work. I am now in the I.T. department.. It is challenging me in a good healthy way and I no longer feel like crap going into work which is the best feeling.

At this point we are also trying to get a proper budget worked out.

So that is the short of it ... I have to go now to take the kids to daycare, then get my butt to work.

Julia

How does this always happen?

2007-11-07T06:32:00.000-05:00

I might have just got my husband into a LOT of trouble.... Last week we had a problem getting my daughter from school... my dad was not available to pick me up from work and go get her and my sister wasn't available to...I didn't realize this until Rob had already taken the car to his work....so car at work with him me at work with no car and NO one who can get her from school....

So I called him at work and told him this problem he asked what are we going to do? So I told him to tell his work that she got hurt at school and needed to be picked up...so he did... and they monitored the call and caught him... Last night he came home with a disapline note basically saying they know he told the fib and it would be brought to the attention of the wicked witch of the west (his boss who is on vacation) and it will go on his perm. record...he is convinced he is going to be let go. I think he might be over reacting... but he is convinced...if they let him go it will be entirely MY fault and we can't afford for him to be out of work right now.... so we are sending out resumes but he is calling and talking to the next people up to see if they will give him a better feeling if just disapline or dismissal...so if you pray PLEASE say one for his job and for them to understand he really didn't have a choice.... if you dont pray please start...LOL.

Life seems to take two steps forward and 4 steps back... things have been going so well lately. We got basically all of our debt into a new consolidation loan and paid off old bad stupid debt and things are looking up...

Julie

Blow me!

2007-10-29T21:29:00.000-04:00

Oh my poor aching back. What the hell did I do to it? You would think that I would remember doing something to it, but I seriously don't remember when or how I hurt it. I just know that I can't do anyting without being in pain. My lower back from about mid way down my back through the lumbar area feels like I am 90 years old suffering with stage 5 ostio.

Ibuprofin isn't touching it although I am poping them. Its great because at my work I sit in a computer chair for 8 hours straight... then I come home and do my normal chores then ly down and if I stay in one position for more then 30 seconds I seize up like a rusty whore...HELP!!!!! I've blown my back out and I cant get up!

Julie

Princesses and Pirates

2007-10-21T13:29:00.000-04:00

Im at my inlaws house right now. LOVING the absolute quiet. Gavin is asleep in the livingroom and Emily has gone out with Nanny to pick out a new pair of shoes for her princess dress because at 3pm today we are officially going to the Princess and Pirate Halloween party at the local community center.

Where there will be 5 million little girls and boys running around all dressed at Princesses and Pirate's ... this should prove interesting because I can just image what it would look like trying to find a child who has wandered off in this mess... "Yes Hi have you seen a little girl...6 years old strawberry blond hair wearing a princess outift..???" "Why yes I have....Theres one there, and another one there, and if you look over there I think I see three more"...God help me...Holding hands extra tight today!

And to add to my last post about peeing in the car I have an addition. Today the TOPPER of all in car bathroom conundrums... Today my daughter got the shits. On the Gardner Expressway. For anyone not knowing it is an elevated highway meaning NO SHOULDER to pull over to... so we stopped 1/2 in and 1/2 out of the lane opened our doors and I held her (Hi Im Julie AKA porta potty) while she crapped on the side of the highway... once she was done I stood her up moved her away from the mess while I searched the car for SOMETHING ... Anything to wipe her butt with but before I did that I said "Emily stand right here don't move...I don't want you to step in it!!!" And what do you think happend? She took one step toward me because apparently me finding something to wipe asses with is FACINATING and stepped RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE OF IT!!! SO shoes and poop lying on the side of the Gardner Expressway.

So the next time you are driving down the road and see one lonly shoe lying on the side of the road and think who the HELL left their shoe in the middle of no where...Think of my little princess and smile. Because nothing says princess then shitting on the side of the highway and then stepping in it.

Julie

Im gonna Pee my pants

2007-10-05T19:47:00.000-04:00

"Mom, I have to pee"

"Emily, Why didn't you tell me this while we were at Auntie Jennys?"

"I didn't remember"

"Why did you wait until we got on the Highway"

"I don't know mom, seriously Im gonna Pee MY PANTS"

"Emily what do you want me to do? You waited until we got on the highway and it is rush hour. Did you notice that we are going Zero miles an hour?"

"Yes, but I have to pee, can I pee on the grass?"

"What Grass all I see is Cars and pavement"

"Then can I pee on the pavement?"

"Emmmmilllllllyyyyy, seriously you want to end up run over?"

"But mom I am going to pee my Pannnntttsssss"

"Okay then if you have to...go ahead"

"MOMMMMM I cant"

"Okay then don't"

"MOMMMMM"

You can change the word Emily to Gavin on any given day!

Julie

Watch this please!

2007-09-28T19:12:00.000-04:00

If you have on funny bone in your body you have to watch this...if you don't..you will have 10 years of bad luck...oh come on.... share the joy

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yatiNvPCf-k

Downward spiral...

2007-09-28T12:25:00.000-04:00

Does it ever feel like you are spinning and falling? That is how i have felt all week like I am loosing it. I feel very out of my element and very out of control.

My worlds greatest desire is to Pack everything up and to move out to the woods... I am on the phone all day at work always listening to peoples problems or what they percieve as problems ...but really are not problems just stupidity... there is agression and noise at home.. There is noise at night when I am sleeping...

what I wouldn't give to be able to move out to the country where the kids can run and play without me having to keep them at arms length...what I wouldn't give to have the sound of crickets at night and sitting outside on my porch in the dark just listening to them... what I wouldn't give for a lazy day with nothing to do. What I woudln't give to not worry about $ or psychos or agression or angry people ...

TGIF I guess...( gotta look for the silver lining)

Julie

Laundry Tips!

2007-09-22T17:36:00.000-04:00

I am here today to teach you what I know about Laundry.... First and foremost...

Make sure you sort your cloths into whites....And darks.....
Towels and bedding...

Then you take each load (or in my case-multiple loads) down 16 flights of stairs to the laundry room and wash them....

This is what my plan was when I sorted these 12 loads of laundry onto my livingroom floor. Then I noticed that my purse is in the car...my wallet is in my purse....my bank card is in my wallet which is at my husbands work with him. He will not be home until 10pm tonight.... which means.....

This is what my livingroom is going to look like for the rest of the day...Gosh I hope no one stops by to see me today and boy the kids are going to ruin my sorted piles because they look at dirty underwear as an opportunity to JUMP like kids in a pile of leaves.

(BTW for those wondering...this is one week worth of cloths for four people...I think we have a problem)

Julie

Parenting gone very wrong!

2007-09-18T14:46:00.001-04:00

My kids are loosing it...

I am seriously thinking that my children need a serious dose of anti depressents and maybe a few anti psychotics...

My six year old has a serious melt down issue... My sisters dog chewed a $.5 mcdonalds toy she had not seen in 6 mths...she came home and saw its eye missing and you would think she came home to see me shot in the face or something... she LOST it... Crying snotting carrying on for HOURS! My sister even promised to take the stupid cow home and and stitch him up good as new...she said things like "he's my best friend" "I'm going to miss him soooo much" all between the biggest crocodile tears you have ever seen and sobs that measured 5 on the rictor scale.... She went to bed and woke up the next moring...completely fine...it has been weeks and she hasnt' asked for the cow who took a trip in the trash again. This is just one example but we have stories like this from her almost daily. She is so passionate about EVERYTHING. No matter how big or small... my sister in law has taught her the phrase "Don't sweat the small stuff" ... she is six and needs a reminder to not worry... insane.

My Son bless his two and a half year old temper tantrum shit disturber heart. He has turned a corner in his Psycosis... This kid seems soooo frustrated with his life... He of course wants what he wants when he wants it at all points of the day but he is like Dr. Jeckkle and MR. Hyde... he is one of the sweetest kids you could know he LOVEs things that are soft and when you hold him he runs his fingers through your hair and snuggles his face into it... when he gives you a hug it is a fantasticly big hug and you KNOW he loves you... some times he looks right in your eye and says "I LOVE YOU" and he means it... and then the devil comes out... You ask him to put on his shoes, not spill his drink, go to bed and the arms start flying... Last night when I was puting him to bed he was so upset about having to lye down and me putting his toys away that he smacked me across the face... I was leaning over him to kiss him good night... he was fussing and I leaned over him and said "sorry baby boy but it is time to go night night now we can play tomorrow"...SMACK... NO I no want to... so I Hold his hands in mine and sternly tell him no hitting and you hurt mommy... then he starts crying, not the I'm sad crying but the I am so frustrated I don't know what to do crying...kind of crying and then screaming out like a boiling over pot...

I don't know what to do for either of them... Depression runs in my husbands family and he has a tendency to overreact pretty quickly so I am not sure if they are learning the behaviour or if it is just ingrained in their genetics but it is hard for me to watch them and to try to reason with them when they have completely lost their shit...

Julie

BFF Or is it BFFL or maybe BMF??

2007-09-12T13:56:00.000-04:00

This is my sister! (the one looking at me and helping me to my knees) One of the most talented photographers I know. Here is some of her work. (I have stolen them from her without her knowledge but since I am covered under the "Johnston Photography" banner I am safe from future Legal actions... so :P (That and she is my best friend and confidant and my other half...litterally...if you cant tell we are identical twins.)...LOVE YOU JENN!! PS... her blog is http://photochiq.blogspot.com Check her out!

Remember

2007-09-11T09:53:00.000-04:00

I can't believe it has been 6 years since this happened...I remember watching this man jump to his death... I watched it in disbelief thinking what it must have been like where he was standing...how bad it must have been that freefalling to his death was a better option...and I wonder who he is and did his wife/family see this and KNOW it was him...how heartbreaking that moment would have been...

Emily was just over 2 months old when this happened and I watched the whole thing unfold while holding her in my arms and thinking what kind of a world did I bring her into...I remember crying over her, apologizing to her, and feeling utter dispair... wishing there was some way I could change the fate of the world...feeling like everything was changing right there and then...like the bar had been set...the beginning of world war 3.

Since that day I have struggled with politics... When it all started the USA needed a strong leader to fight back, everyone wanted blood...everyone wanted to get revenge... instead they got Bush... At first I though Okay the man can't speak worth crap but he has made it his mission to find Osama bin stupid pants... that lasted what seemed like a week... then BOOM his direction changed...no longer were we looking for Osama Bin Shit head but we were looking for Sadam Hussain.... hummmm okay that was out of left field but you know what give him a break he needs to finish daddys work and really one less asshole in the world...but WAIT...beep beep back that truck up... Umm...Osama Bin Who??? OH THAT GUY...what about him? You want to know where he is and why we haven't really been persuing him??? Well Hes a pretty good hider.. I mean he has rocks and caves..who knows where he is now...

Our troops are over there again fighting a war that is impossible to win. (Of course I am canadian but our troops are there too)... The troops are not fighting someone who they can see there is no clear target because the civilians are fighting to. Seems like Vietnam all over again doesn't it? The difference being that this time our citizens are SUPPORTING out troops.

You just have to wonder... when will it end? When will we pull our men and women out of a loosing battle? When will we look on our own front porch and fix the issues within? When will the government see that no matter what they do there will always be terrorists and our job is not to try to wipe them out completely but to find the warning signs and to protect ourselves the best we can...

Sept. 11, 2001 .... We Remember ...

Julie

What is the best news you could get first thing on a monday morning??

2007-09-10T10:44:00.000-04:00

Our Systems are DOWN... cant do a thing...getting paid to sit here and wait for them to get things back up and running...

Man I need a new exciting, fun, high paying job! Anyone have one I can have???

Julie

Answering the age old question....

2007-09-06T14:37:00.001-04:00

What do you do with all your kids paintings???

You cut out the most interesting parts and frame them sets of three always go over well as a gift...you might want better frames but you get the idea!!!

Julie

Answering the

2007-09-06T14:37:00.000-04:00

Currency

2007-09-05T20:18:00.000-04:00

My house is a mess. I don't mean like a little dust either... I mean a real mess... cloths on the floor, dishes in the sink, tooth paste in the bathroom sink, pee in the toilet, beds unmade...I could go on and on.

You might say to me why don't you just go ahead and clean it...what are you doing on the computer? Well... i do clean it...daily... and when i get home from work it looks like I never touched a thing.

This has been a 10 year uphill struggle. Im talking about my dear dirty husband. Yes I said it he is a dirty dirty man. Sometimes that is a good thing... But not in this case.

I have tried yelling screaming lying on the floor kicking and screaming. I have threatned to leave and I have had complete melt downs trying to get him to just pick up after himself and the kids when he is home without me. As you can guess... it hasn't worked.

So we have a new currancy... Sex...Oh yes I am going there.. If he does his chores he gets some trim. Its been 3 days. He didn't do his chores he didn't get any...today he did all the dishes from the past three days...he gets to play!!

I am learning it is all about currancy...my currancy is a clean house... his is ... SEX ... go figure...

Julie

A flower girl!

2007-09-02T23:30:00.000-04:00

So my cousin Mel got married last weekend and my daughter was her flower girl. Emily did sooooo well. it was really cute and I had a great time...(wine is a great friend of mine) ... I am tired and don't have the energy to give you the detailed story but thought I would leave you with some of my favorite photos...enjoy!!

Julie

Moving

2007-08-30T09:25:00.000-04:00

I have decided this week that i am packing up and moving out of this city. I can't take the 'big' city attitude bustle or arrogance anymore. I am moving to the woods. i would love to give you a new address but ... well we won't have one... We are going to go so deep in the woods that we will have to hike in and out for groceries and we will build a log cabin...it will have a large porch that I can sit on my rocker and watch the sunset over the little lake out front. We will have large windows so we can see the beauty which is Gods land.

No traffic, no work, no large stones being thrown at our windshield, no car dealerships, no mean ass people, no telephone, no cable, no internet (oh no), only the sounds of nature the feeling of a fall breeze on my face, the sound of my kids playing and laughing outside, and that is about it...

I would ask if you want to join me but that would be defeating the purpose wouldn't it???

I want to live like NELL!! remember her??? If you don't...go ahead rent it...good movie.

Julie

If it were not for bad luck....

2007-08-27T10:40:00.001-04:00

So you know some people have a horse shoe up their ass??? What is it you have up your ass if you happen to be opposite of lucky???

Last week our car was completely redone... like everything that could possibly be wrong with it was fixed.... even a brand new windsheild... Today Rob drove me to work and as he was driving home on the QEW with the kids in the back a dump truck went over a large bump spewing shit from its load... specifically a large rock....a large rock that ultimatly hit our windshield...the very windshield we just got replaced... said rock, smashed through the windshield shattering it into a million shards of Glass...

So my kids and husband stand on the side of the freeway while the car gets towed away and they wait for a cab to pick them up...on the side of the highway...with cars going past at 110km/hr...

Then finally he gets to the car rental place and they refuse to give him a rental because they need a $100 deposit paid by debit only... he has a credit card...but they refuse to accept it. IT has to be by debit...

My dad is going out and picking them up at the rental place now...we will be borrowing my mother in laws car for the rest of the week while our car gets fixed...

Why oh why do bad things happen to good people?? I figure my luck has to change at some point right????

Julie

Being me...sorry so late

2007-08-21T08:42:00.000-04:00

Okay this is the final instilation of being me...

I don't have times so this is just in order.

Rob picked me up from work and we headed out to the mall. We needed to hit a few stores to pick up some cloths for a wedding this weekend.

first we went to a store for Rob he found a nice pair of pants but no shirt the kids ran around the boutique like little monsters...our only saving grace was that we were the only ones there at that time so they were not disturbing anyone...

Then we went to the store right next door for me...the kids did the same thing... so the store ladies bribed them with candy...'sit here on these chairs while mommy shops and you can have candy" (Candy= Hyper) apparently they don't have kids...

Gavin chokes on the candy...not seriously but scary all the same...

I bought a pair of black pants 5 pairs of underwear (sale) and a brand new bra that I LOVE!!!

We went home...and this is where i have pictures but can't show you until my internet at home is back up and running...technical difficulties...

Got home to find a huge mess.. clothes on every surface of the floor a million dishes in the sink edstroyed....absolutely destroyed..>

I should begin this with saying... I cleaned the Whole house spotless two days before the day before we were out of hte house until bedtime so no mess when I went to bed..this was mess just from that day with Rob and the kids at home...

Pictures will follow hopefully tonight.

Jluie

Being me part three

2007-08-16T14:16:00.000-04:00

Starting back up at lunch time...

11:30-12:30 had lunch. ATE WAY too much and asking myself why the hell I don't stop eating once i am no longer hungry or maybe once I start to feel OVER full... ???

12:31-sw a woman who returned her phone the day she got it and we charged her a $400 ecf had those fees waived.
12:39-Sw a man who is asking to know when his lines contracts end has four phones and is not happy rate plan change when added extra two phones has been biding his time to cancel...made retention offers.
12:41-sw man who claims he was offered call display free on two of his phones dont see that in the notes but took him at face value and gave it to him for the rest of his term...(just renewed).
1:15-changed rate plan and features for a customer very nice.
1:35-sw a man who has already left for a new carrier cancelled his phone
1:45-sw a woman who requested deact 3 times and no one set it up for her she is hopping mad and I get the pleasure of deacting her line and listening to her anger. fun fun.
1:57-rate plan change for customer and more sales...deact bad...sale good.
2:10-deact cust is having a hard financial time and can no longer afford his phone...cancelled...
2:20 BREAK...I am night of the living dead tired today.

a day in the life of ME part 2

2007-08-16T11:22:00.000-04:00

At work now

So where did I leave off I think waking Rob and the kids.

7:20-Wake Rob and the kids up
7:21- kids start whining and complaining about everything from getting dressed to Hunger pains
7:30-Emily needs my help to up on her shoes…seems they are never tight enough even if they are cutting her feet.
7:35-start yelling we need to leave the house right now so everyone take up position at the front door.
7:40 Walking to the car kids stop to smell the flowers and pick up garbage that we have to tell them 3 times to put down its dirty.
7:45-all buckled into the car
7:50-At the gas station paying $.98.5/L for gas and cleaning out garbage from the car.
7:57- On the road again stuck in 8am traffic…very fun.
8:15-starting to panic because I have to be at work for 8:30…
8:16-Gavin screams his dinky hurts because he needs to pee.
8:22-I get to work Rob takes the kids to the bathroom I go to my desk ON time thank god.
8:25-Run down to Tim Hortons for a Triple Chocolate muffing and an ice cap the ice cap machine isn’t working (like normal) so get a diet coke.
8:30-Log on to the phones.
8:35-Get a call from a man who wants to make payments on his three accounts wants to know when the will be off contract and has me change his rate plan. Very nice guy.
8:50-Call from a man who puts his other phone up to this phone and makes me listen the the hold music and lets me know he has been listening to that for 20 mintues now while he waits for us to get him a supervisor. Pissed off that we can’t directly transfer him to the last rep he was talking to and then the supervisor picks up on the other line and he hangs up on me.
9:15-Someone calls in but doesn’t answer when I say hello…Ghost Call…odd.
9:22-Call from someone who already ported her number out…didn’t call before upset over $400 early cancellation fee…Try again telling me you didn’t know you signed a THREE year contract 3 months ago…
9:30-sw dumb woman who is cancelling her phone because the system says she has only used 50 minutes so far but she feels she has used more and now she can’t trust us anymore… she has ONLY used 50 minutes got billed Long distance for making a Long distance call which she admits to making but didn’t agree with the charge for it we shouldn’t be penilizing her because she is on a pension…oi vey.
9:35-took a break
9:50-sw woman deactivating her phone because getting a corporate rate from her company
10:00-sw another dumb woman who needed me to explain her bill didn’t know what the monthly charges were for edu for her minutes and included features..disputed having a bundle for features like text and picture messaging says she never uses them… told her it was used all month also $50 in downloaded ring tones and games etc…says her friends are doing it… Edu to tell her friends to stop she doesn’t want to make them mad…thinking of cancelling because getting to expensive..(Ya because changing your service provider will stop your friends form downloading on your phone!!)
10:25-sw a very nice lady who needed to change the plans on her three phones and alter how she is billed got to analize her bill and provide her the most cost effective plans and features for her usage and her kids usages…
11:10 another break…don’t laugh this is hard work.

24 hours in the life of ME!

2007-08-16T07:04:00.000-04:00

Good morning..

was stolen from my good friend at "notes from the trenches" (Link to the Left). Okay well good friend might be pushing it considering she doesn't know I exist...HAHA...oh well it was a good idea anyway..

Lets start shall we?

6am-Alarm Goes off...I roll over and hit snooze.

6:09-Alarm Goes off again...I hit snooze again.

6:18-Alarm goes off again...I hitt Snooze...(Odd I think I heard that before)

6:27-Alarm goes off I swear, sit up and decide its now or never.

6:30-Went the the washroom

6:30:34-Got a shower.

6:39- Out of the shower in a towel and getting dressed.

6:43-Dressed and taking a picture of myself to show you guys the magic of ceramic

6:44-Take my hair out of the towel

6:45-Blowdry my hair..it really only takes a couple of minutes.

6:47-Start using my ceramic god....

6:49-half done

6;52-Finished...isn't it just amazing the confirmation....

6:55-Turn on the computer close all the annoying start up windows which takes longer then doing my hair.

7:00-Email my hair photos to the Julyfirecrackers (a group we stemmed off from Babycenter when pregnant with our July 2001 babies...we are great friends now... its a closed environment...sorry)

7:12- Have to go wake up the hubby and kids they are driving me in today... our car is going into the shop for an overhaul.

(See you at work)

tomorrow

2007-08-15T22:53:00.000-04:00

i think I am going to attempt a 24 hours in the life of Julia... What do you think?

I will preface it by saying that I work in customer service for a large telecommunications company. My job is to work with our VIP clients. People who spend obscene amounts of money each month and who we can't afford to loose....I also have to take all Deactivation requests and these range from VIP clients to customers who have never thought it necessary to pay a bill and are pissed off their service is interupted...

Having said all that you might want to tune out tomorrow or maybe use my post tomorrow as good bed time reading to lull you off into dream land. Either way I understand....

Good night kind folks!

Dang (my new favorite word) I'm tired.

Julie

Mrs. Cleavers Beaver!

2007-08-14T19:50:00.000-04:00

So anyone who is reading this would have read about our little 'woman' problems back a few weeks ago... You know the skank...

Glad I could refresh your memory a little... Well I also told you that it gave Rob and I a really good opportunity to talk and to sort our our issues. Rob feels the passion has left our marriage a lot ... that our relationship has been pushed to the wayside due to all of our real life responsibilites. We have really made next to no time for eachother because finding time is work and work sucks...

I agree with him but I see things a little different. Let me explain. The way I see things is that YES there are a lot of responsabilities in our life. Children, work, bills, dishes, laundry, vacuuming, sweeping, moping, dusting, garbage take out, daycare, groceries, commuting, and a million other things that can not be left to the wayside... Out of all of those things Rob does these: Work, Watch the kids during the days he works evenings while I am at work, makes lunch for the kids when he has them. That is about it... I do these things: Work full time, pay the bills, Wash all dishes from all day everyday, do all the laundry, Vacuuming, sweeping, moping, dusting, garbage, daycare, groceries (including bringing them up), most of the commuting, bath time, bed time, homework time, Reading, cooking, and any other chore that needs to be done...

We made a pact... I would meet him 50% in the bedroom department. I would be a little more sexy, a little more spontanious, a little more giving, I would make a REAL effort to bring back some of the passion that he feels I have been neglecting...In return he would meet ME 50% in the house...so he would do dishes during the day help with laundry sweeping moping, vacuuming, and other general clean up throughout the day so we can maintain a tidy house and so that at the end of the day I would have more energy to meet my 50% of the deal...it is a win win situation.

So all has been going well... I have REALLY stepped up my part...I am having a really good time and learning to let go and enjoy our quiet moments together... after 10 years I am no longer afraid to show myself...my sexual self to someone .... I was even afraid to show that sexual self to ME.... but I am learning and have learned a lot and Rob and i have grown together exponentially over the years... I am happy to say that I feel confident saying we are both very very satisfied with our sex life...

Rob however like normal has not picked up his end of the bargin he is getting his extra 50% but I am not so lucky... I am getting not even 5% of his promise to me. I have been continuing to do all the work...so I remind him all the time about his 50% and he has promised me again that he will do better that it is just that he has been working hard (and he has -he hasn't had a day off in 10 days) ... My problem is that... I work hard to...

So I guess I have to start playing hard ball...new deal...50% more effort or no chance at getting to Mrs. Cleavers Beaver.

Julie

Here Kitty Kitty Kitty

2007-08-13T11:27:00.000-04:00

About three years ago we had a Cat we lovingly called Harley, Harley was a feral cat... We rescued him from the humain society thinking that this cat definitly needed a warm and loving home...He looked like he had been through the ringer. His ear was mangled and he just looked a little rough and since we are animal lovers we wanted to take him home and wrap him up in a warm blanket and love on him...

Harley had a different idea. He was wild...LOVING but wild. It didn't take us long to figure out he did not have a good roll model mother...we suspect she was a drunk or at the very least addicted to vicoden and T3's, because Harley pooped on my bed daily... This poor soul had NO idea what a kitty litter was used for....and although we tried to teach him how to use his litter My bed was his prefered place of fecal release...Now I know what you are thinking EWWW gross... YOU have no idea...because he was feral and had a crack whore mother he must have grown up eating raw hot dogs and cheese slices because his system was so screwed up that his shit wasn't normal hard kitty shit...NOPE it was always colossal diareah...on my side of the bed...Daily...

So after a few months we had to get rid of him...he just was not meant to be inside and although we tried very hard to make him domestic it just couldn't be done and my bed couldn't handle being accosted daily...

When Harley left we vowed we would be pet free forever or at least for a very long time. And although mear days later we were hochie kooing other peoples pets and convincing eachother that we DON"T want anymore animals, we have been pet free for three years. Until this weekend.

I found an old friend... she happens to work for the city as an animal control officer...who happened to be fostering a breed of tabby kittens...ONE picture and I was hooked... This is what the conversation at our house was like ...

"Roooooobbb, Look at them... I think we should get one... "

Rob "Jul...I though we said we wouldn't be having pets anymore"

me "But look at them...they are kittens, Cute, and they have been from a good home...Come on can't we have just one"

Rob "Fine but this is YOUR cat I don't want to hear that I have to clean the kitty litter....blah blah blah " (this is where I stopped listening)...

ME "Yehhhh, Hey Emily Gaving...Want a Kitty cat???"

So along came this little guy... surprisingly he is VERY much a look alike to Harley although this little guys mom is NOT a crack whore and taught him very well how to use the litter and eat and he is sooo sweet...

Nocturnal as hell and likes to bite my head at night and LOVEs to lick your face all night long. He is a really sweet nice well behaved kitten and I am sooo happy we got him...

Now we just need to name him... we have gone through Memphas, Cube, and a number of other names I can't seem to remember or that dont seem to fit him... HELP he needs a name...what do you think?

Julie

My Personality...actually hit right on! Go on try it.

2007-08-08T07:30:00.001-04:00

***You Are An ISFP***
The Artist
You are a gifted artist or musician (though your talents may be dormant right now).You enjoy spending your free time in nature, and you are good with animals and children.Simply put, you enjoy beauty in all its forms and live for the simple pleasures in life.Gentle, sensitive, and compassionate - you are good at recognizing people's unspoken needs.
In love, you are quiet and sweet yet very passionate. You love easily.You have an underlying love for all living things, and it's easy for you to accept someone into your heart.
At work, you do best in an unconventional position. You express yourself well and can work with almost anyone.You would make a good veterinarian, pediatrician, or composer.
How you see yourself: Sympathetic, kind, and communicative
When other people don't get you, they see you as: Incompetent, insecure, and overly sensitive
What's Your Personality Type?http://www.blogthings.com/whatsyourpersonalitytypequiz/

She cut her WHAT??

2007-08-06T21:28:00.000-04:00

Welcome to the end of the civic holiday here in the great white north. We didn't do much of anything...On Friday we worked. Saturday the kids and I drove to Newmarket to visit my sister in law who is house sitting for my inlaws who are in England for a couple of weeks.

We ate breakfast there and eventually we went out shopping. Found dress shoes for Emily to wear to my cousin Mels wedding (she is going to be the flower girl). Mel asked me to try to find 'cute, Plum coloured shoes' this turned out to be an impossible feat...there is no such thing as cute plum coloured shoes...we found ONE pare of dark purple shoes they were one size too big and looked more like first day of school shoes not wedding shoes...

Eventually we found some cute white high heel shoes (Emily wanted a heel). I hope Mel is okay with it...it was extreamly difficult as I have not seen the dress yet...YIKES.

Also Emily thought it would be a good idea to cut her hair and her brothers hair last week...so we also hit the hairdresser to 'fix' this problem... she got a cute little girl bobish kind of cute but Gavin didn't fair so well...suffice it to say dad and son's bald heads match.. good thing he has amazing blue eyes to distract from the bald house.

I have informed Emily that if she ever feels the need to cut her hair or her brothers hair again she will have the same cut he does ... she is NOT excited about the prospect of being bald so I hope I have put some fear in her.

Julie

Mississippi bridge is fallen

2007-08-03T09:50:00.000-04:00

I was going to blog on this yesterday but I really couldn't find the words to put toward this horrible accident.

What do you talk about? The victoms? Those who have lost their lives. Those who are really hurt and those who are probably scarred for life not only physically but emotionally?

Or should we talk about why it happened how a big bridge like that can be deemed in ill repair and in need of replacement not just repair and have no action taken other then repairing faulty cracked welds?

Or should we look at all the resource workers who are battling against impossible conditions to try to rescue recover and remove debris from this mess....the injuries they are bound to get themselves the currents of the Mississippi and having to pull dead bodies from cars that have been submerged in the river for days now?

Or we can talk about the families of those who have been killed in this accident... Imagining how scared their loved ones would have been in their last moments. What they saw, how their hearts must have jumped to their throat as they realized that the road was no longer below them... How they must have thought and felt as they were crushed under concrete and steele or plunged into the ice cold water to drown....

My heart is broken for all of these people because no matter what exprience they have in this accident their lives are forever changed. They will forever have Wednesday August first etched into their minds.

I for one see times like these to reflect on my life and to fully appreciate all the little things that we all take for granted..like our lives.

Julie

My nose is frozen!!

2007-08-01T13:17:00.001-04:00

Its August 1st. Did you hear that??? What summer is 1/2 over?? Your kidding me? It seems like summer has been here for EVER but still when August first comes I start thinking of blizzards and ear muffs and wet feet cold winds and hot chocolate!

Some parts of me cant' wait for that... because my husband HATES the heat... Hates....did I mention HATES it..which means that when it is 40 C out (like today) he is the altimate in FUN to get along with.. He can't handle being in his skin in this heat.

Me you ask? I don't mind it so much. I am more then content to sit in front of the window airconditioner drinking a lemonaid and watching my kids destroy the house.

I HATE the winter...can't stand it.. hate the -40 C weather the whipping wind the soaked running shoes, the frozen noses the coats scarves boots mittens and all the things that have pieces that my kids LOVE to loose... (can you ever find mittens when you need them?)... I never wear a coat, or boots... and I am sure that winter would be much more bearable if I did but I just hate them that much...

See my husband and I are really well matched don't you think?

August 1st....Well I did get some things accomplised before this heart wrenching day...I finally after two months got the toddler bed out of my dinning room and out to the trash (no one wanted it...bastards it is a little tykes race car bed...) so now you can walk around in there... I cleaned the bathroom...bleach is my new best friend.

Now I need to organize my stuff so I know where to find it all and doing dishes wouldn't hurt either....

Jul

Wine, Wine the magical fruit....

2007-07-23T09:16:00.000-04:00

I spent a good few hours nursing my wine glass last night and today....I am not doing so well.

Would someone please just take the queezies away? You think I would LEARN that I should NOT nurse more then ONE GLASS of wine on a school night...because today... today I have to be at work...I have to solve problems, talk to people, be friendly and oh so very far away from my bed.

My Bed...oh how I long for my bed...cool pillow, warm blanket, good company, nice fan....

Bed...
Bed..
Bed.

Julie

Lions and tigers and skanks oh my

2007-07-21T13:23:00.000-04:00

The past two days have been interesting and enlightning and cleansing for me... You would think it would be the other way around. That I would be pissed off and weilding an ax.

What the outcome really has been is that Rob and I have spent some time really talking and getting to know one another again...

I have learned that I have to let go sometimes... that life isn't going to wait for me to get all my ducks in a row. I either live it now or i lose it later... and I came close to losing it... I am trying soooo hard not to blame "HER" at this point because although I think she is a manipulative bitch who was MORE then aware that I exist. I can only assume that she has nothing better to do with her time then trying to break up marriages??

I hope she is reading this... because there is so much that I want her to know. I want her to know that the last 10 years has been a struggle for Rob and I and that we have worked sooooo hard to keep things together. That we have two beautiful children. That I hope when she is finally married and things are in a state of consistant mediocracy that someone comes into her spouses life and strokes his/her ego and that she gets to feel for a few days how she has made me feel... betrayed, afraid for her future, revolted...

I know first hand the saying "What goes around comes around" is so very true I look forward to that day even if I am not there to see it.

Julie

10 years

2007-07-20T06:56:00.000-04:00

Ten Years of Marital Bliss... how IN love do you feel after 10 Years... do you feel like life has you by the horns and you are being dragged from work to chores to bed and back?

That is how it has been around my house for a while. Yesterday I found something that tipped me upside down... a woman... a woman who is trying to manipulate my world. A woman who thinks she has the right to move in on my husband. A woman who when confronted blamed me... a woman who told me I need a sense of humor, a woman who thinks it is a joke to send dirty pictures to my husband in hopes of intreguing him.

And for a few days she made him feel sexy and wanted and excited... and I can understand that...I can understand that feeling of excitement... I have had something similar happen so I know exactly how he feels.

BUT it still pissed me off...

Changes are happening... If one thing good came out of yesterday it is this... We have now recognized the importance of being able to get that feeling from eachother. The importance of needing to hold eachother close and keeping that spark alive...

Slow down from life a little and appreciate what you have at home.

Julie

Harrys new magic wand!

2007-07-16T14:30:00.000-04:00

This weekend I went to see the new Harry Potter movie. I will start with saying that it was really well done...the characters are growing up nicely, and this one has some really interesting scenes ( I won't give it away)...but again as always I walked out of the theater a little disappointed.

Disappointed because they missed so much of the book, disappointed because parts of the book I see as vital to the story line were left out... and disappointed because this series is coming to an end...only one book left...only three more movies... my heart aches...what will I do if not wait for another harry potter book???

On a lighter note I got to see Harrys other wand...Yes that want...it was...Interesting... there is a part of me that screams "He's so young...Julie get your mind out of the gutter"...then there is the part of me that thinks "Thats damn hot..." and well Im allowed to think that is hot he is over the age of majority now...its all good!

Julie

Money? did you say Money??

2007-07-13T16:57:00.000-04:00

This is my dad. If he knew I possessed a blog and if he knew how to use the internet to get here he would be devistated that I have zero'd in on his humble ass.

This man did not contribute to my genetic makeup hence why you will see no family resemblence. But he moved into our lives when we were about five years old. He was carrying a big plastic 100 pack of crayola crayons. I remember it so well... I remember having those crayons for a very long time. He won me over with "I got these for you, thought you might like them" and boy did we....

Now 23 years later mom and dad have split up and he could have gone running. He could have cut his losses and responsibilities with us as well, but he didn't. He stuck around. This decision has meant he has been asked to help repair our cars, help pay bills when times got tough, buy us dinner just because we flashed our sweet smiles in his direction saying something like "I know you REALLY want to treat us to....." and he always does.

Oh don't think it is all sunshine. He likes to complain from time to time...okay most of the time. And he puts up with some people in his life who should have been dumped a long time ago. He can't hold his liquer worth shit and he is kind of a home body.

He is back in the dating game and he is very discouraged. Seems a lot of ladies are pretty bitter in their post divorce hayday or he is finding woman who are looking for a sugar daddy.

This got me to thinking, are we (women) really going to the pits after 45?? And are those of us under 30 really so despirate for money that we would screw an older guy and string him on in the belief that our financial futures would be secure. Are we willing to have loveless, lustless relationships purly for money?

If so I am afraid...very afraid.

Julie

Choose You.

2007-07-12T10:49:00.000-04:00

The start of a new day! Today I made the choice to wake up and be happy. Today I woke up and made the choice to start living life rather then stressing about it...Today I decided that no one can drag me down, that I am my own person and that I have the CHOICE.

So... Friends I think today you will find a new and improved Julie. Taking a deep breath and letting all the little things go!

This weekend I will be attending the drive in movies to see HARRY Potter with my sister and sister in law and Hopefully Rob if he is up for it... I will be packing a picnic for the occasion. I will be doing laundry on friday morning and grocery shopping (which by the way does anyone know any good food blogs??) And I still have so much organization to do but I have a new found strength this morning...because I have the choice.

When was the last time you really choose YOU???

Julie

Organization

2007-07-07T17:27:00.000-04:00

For the past 10 years I have often felt like I am driving 130 km down the freeway in a car that has a major wheel allignment problem. The car is constantly pulling to the left leaving me to be constantly pulling the steering wheel to the right.

Clutter....confusion...Disorganization. This is the real reason I have felt this way. If you came to my house today and asked me for a pair of scissors, a piece of gum or a kleenex it might take me 20 minutes to find it... because nothing has a place in my home... Each week there is a major pile of laundry each night a major pile of dishes. My filing cabinet is a half hazzard place that i throw things I need to keep but if I need to find it again.... good luck to me...

So this weekend my goal is to find a home for all the things in my home... and to get organized. Wish me luck, pray to whatever god you happen to believe in and if you must sacrifice a goat please just clean up the mess after okay??

Julie

Would you please remind me

2007-06-28T16:58:00.000-04:00

The next time I think it is a good idea to wear an off white shirt...please stop me at the door look down at my body and shake your head no and point me back to my bedroom to try again!

Today I put on this cream colour shirt... it oddly resembles my skin tone pretty well... and well it looks like I am dressing up to try to take the michialin mans job. The devistating part of this whole thing is that I had to be in an ad for my company today ... a nice print add advertising something new... and well... ya... I should have worn colour today or someone elses body.

all I have to say is YIKES and no I won't share the picture...because well...I want you to keep reading.. it makes me feel warm and fuzzy inside...

Julie

career

2007-06-19T21:07:00.000-04:00

Why is it that work just keeps getting more and more difficult to sit through? I have a decent job pays ... well could be better but it is decent... but each day i feel more and more like I need to get out..

This week I have been working a part time schedule from 8am to 2pm and still it feels to long..each day I go in and the whole time I am thinking I wish I could get up and go home now. I guess like a lot of other people I am just not satisfied with my position...

So it is time that I take a good long look at how I really want to spend the time away from my kids I will be arranging some courses and really looking at a career change..not today and not tomorrow but I will get the wheeles rolling

What do you do.. what tallents do you have... ???

Julie

Did you say nipple?

2007-06-18T10:45:00.000-04:00

How do you tell someone when you feel that they are being inappropriate? There is someone in my life (wont' name names) who is very sexually inappropriate. I don't really know if it is "me" being intollerant and if I should just lighten up or if it is them.

Lets suffice it to say there was hands down the shirt braless undersized tank tops a few 'harmless' comments on sexual endurance, and other sexual references...You know when I am with my girlfriends sometimes conversations including sex come up but this felt more like an inside joke between husband and wife that we 'get' the sexual undertones but are not privy to the details.....I really can't stand that. Don't get me wrong I am more then happy when people have a good sex life and enjoy eachother that is afterall a big part of a relationship but I guess I always saw it as, 'if things are really good and you are happy there is no real need to verbalize it'. Rob and I have a great sex life. We keep it private. The only time that things ever come up outside of our relationship is if someone asks a specific question. Or joking...At the bottom I will tell you the 'joke' between my husband and sister in law.

For instance my best friends asked once how often we 'do it' it was a comparison question. They wanted to see if they were way off from the norm and I guess thought that we would be a good 'chart' to base their own sex life over. That didn't bug me at all.

It doesn't bother me if people are kissing in public or little grops on the street corner. It doesn't bother me for public displays of affection..actually I think it is really cute... BUT if you are sitting on my couch and we are having a conversation it would be nice if your husband would take his hand out of your shirt and stop fondling your boobies...Please?

It makes me feel like I should leave the room and let you at it..You know.."Ill go take a walk and come back in say....20 minutes??"

Its destracting to be talking about my friends cousins uncles baby momma to someone being felt up on my couch you know?

I have a theory on why this might be happening to me... it could be one of two things. Either they are completely unaware how rude and gross it is...which is a posibility OR they think this is what girlfriends or say 'sisters' share when together having a good time bonding. I HOPE it is the first.

***Joke: My sister in law (Lesbian) said to Rob that she could go all night, that she could please a woman for three hours baby...you know that kind of thing....

Robs reply..."Well what takes you three hours only takes me three minutes".

See now that is funny, sexual but appropriate dont'cha think???

Jul

Weekend fun

2007-06-11T11:07:00.000-04:00

I had a nice weekend. The kids were normally painful but not OVERLY like they have been. We went to the park and the grocery store but last night was just lovely.

The kids and I hung out at home while rob worked. At about 5pm after we ate dinner we went down to the park and the kids played. Emily found some new "friends" and she ran around like I haven't seen her run in a long time. There is a BIG grassy area and paths and they were playing chase and hide and seek and just having a great time and my heart soared seeing her being so happy and active. I worry about my kids and weight...they are not burdened by weight issues yet but when I see them being lazy and lounging all day watching TV it bugs me. After that we met Rob downstairs to pick up the last of our boxes that needed to be moved in, he ate his dinner and we went for a walk as a family around our new neighbourhood. We found a community center litterally 5 minutes walk from our front door. It has a splash park, a skateboard park, a regular park, pool, gym, a library etc etc etc. We plan to be utilizing this area a lot. After our walk we got home and got into pj's and sat on the couch as a family and watched Shrek...our 'family movie night' as Emily likes to call it. It was really nice to snug in with the kids and really enjoy an evening like we have not done in a while.

And when I went to bed last night...my world was perfect. My heart felt light and happy and I felt like I had the family I really wanted to have...

Today after work I have a meeting I have to attend that is very personal but will be changing my life for the better I hope... and I am pretty nervous but excited at the opportunity it is creating in my life.

Hope everyone is having a good Monday!

Julie

Feeling Better

2007-06-08T12:55:00.000-04:00

Sorry for the last few posts I guess I have been feeling really down about myself and my situation. A major case of Poor me syndrom. I wasn't happy with our move our the apartment we moved into and we didnt have couches which turned out to be a real bummer...try relaxing with two kids when you have no where to sit down...NO FUN!

But today some of these things were resolved. We bought our couches today and they were delivered today...they were not the ones we origionally wanted... we were going to get some microfiber couches in a green colour but when we went in today rob fell in love with comfort over style so we got a brown lazyboy couch and love seat... did I say brown...like chocolate brown cordory type fabric couches... it is not beautiful but it is functional and good for the kids and comfortable and CHEAPER ... so I am happy! Very happy!

When I get home tonight i am throwing the lazyboy back with a drink in one hand and a bowl of popcorn and I am relaxing watching a movie for the first time in the past month. PRAISE GOD ...hahaha..

It is also FRIDAY...sooo that means... I get to spend the weekend digging out of our hundreds of boxes and trying with everything in me to get organized...wish me luck and if you have any organizational tips I would be grateful to hear them...we are in an apartment half the size of our last one...so I am despirate!!

Hope everyone has a GREAT weekend throw your feet up and enjoy!

Julie

So sad

2007-06-06T12:16:00.000-04:00

I am having major problems with my husband. I don't want judgements or a plethera of horrible comments I just want to vent and if you have something constructive to say then by all means throw it on me...

When I was a child growing up I decided I wanted to have two children. It was never a question in my head that I would have kids. Rob...well he didn't want any. And when the time came I told him that we would have to come to an agreement because there was no way that I was going to go through life without children. He agreed to have one child with me... Along came Emily. When it was just Emily things were pretty good. Especially when she was a baby. I was the typical doting mom of one ... Rob basically left me to do my thing. He wasn't one to really do diapers or bath time or any of those things but he was nice to her and treated both of us basically well.

(forward:Rob suffers from bipolar disorder-medicated)

After Emily was three we decided we were not having any more children and Rob went to get the big V. Everything went fine until two weeks after his surgery I found out I was pregnant. Along came Gavin. Things have really taken a turn for the worse. Rob was diagnosed bipolar before we were pregnant with Gavin because he suffered from pretty significant rage episodes not generally directed at Emily or me but the general public. he would fly off the handle if someone cut him off in traffic or god forbid we had to go to Walmart on a Saturday. He was just so unhappy all the time and anger is a big part of our days.

Well Gavin is a handful. He has always been a screamer and he gets frustrated really easily. He is a boy and is totally head strong and won't take no shit from no one... He doesn't listen and if you say something he doesn't like he has a melt down... I chock this up to the terrible two's. It is not fun at all but with some consistancy and patients I think we could control it.

Rob can not handle it. He can't handle either of the kids...at all ... He has less then no patients for anything they do. from Emily singing in the car, her insesint chatter, to the kids fighting over a book or wanting me to put their shoes on when they are fully capable of doing it themselves. He can't stand it.

This morning was a prime example. We went to bed at midnight (rob and I) and got up at 7am. Both kids woke me up during the night...emily felt sick (so got her meds) and Gavin lost his blanket and wanted to crawl in with me. When it was time to wake up Gavin ate his breakfast...Emily didn't want to get out of bed. We got them dressed Emily was upset with the world just crabby... I asked her to hold my bag because we needed to take some bulky garbage out ... Well in the elevator she decided she did not want to hold my bag anymore and even after saying that I didn't have hands to take it and could she just hold it for a little longer she didn't want to ... I took the bag and told her that if she isn't willing to help me then I won't be willing to help her when she needs it... She burst into tears...I was going to ignore this all together...It was ment to make her think that we help eachother out without complaint when a family member needs it... Well Rob got upset she was crying...took the bag from me gave it back to her and Made her hold it and screamed at her to quite crying already... which just got her more frantic. We took the garbage out Emily crying the whole way at this point Gavin started crying because he wanted me to 'carry him' which obviously I can't do my hands are full...so both kids are crying and rob is fuming. More harsh words are said for the kids to be quiet and stop the drama etc (not said in a happy tone at all).

We get in the car both kids still crying... because his method of getting them to stop has worked so well... He stops before pulling out of the driveway and looks back and says very loudly that everyone needs to stop right now ... crying persists... He gets out of the car opens her door says you are in trouble now gets right in her face and tells her he has had enough and if she doesn't stop crying this second he will be taking her out of the car and she will have to sit on the grass till we get home (or something equally as not possible and rediculous)...

She stops crying.... Gavin stops crying... Then Emily finds a book, its Gavins book he freaks out because he wants the book. I tell him Em is looking at it and when she is done he can have it and I explain sharing... about 30 seconds later Rob says something along the lines of if you two don't start to learn how to share I am going to take the book and rip it into a million pieces and no one will have it...

About 15 minutes later Emily says 'momma, im sorry i was crying earlier" I tell her it is fine and I accept her apology but taht we need to make sure to help eachother out when we need it and to share nicely...

I would give anything...and I mean anything to have a husband who is patient and loving and understanding.. I want him to be firm when necessary but his punishments are always just him screaming some threat that can't be fulfilled...which means there is no consistancy. he isn't saying if you don't stop you wil have a time out or grounded to your room for 30 minutes or even a spanked bum... he threatens with leaving on the side of the road or being dropped off at the orphanage or something else completely stupid...

He has no concept of their ages or appropriate punishments. It is like he is rejecting the existance of his roll as a parent. Often I feel like a parent of three siblings who fight all day long... and i am getting more then tired of it. I talk to him and things get better for a few days and then he ends up right back to the way he always does things. I don't know how to change it ... this is not the man he is with me...it isn't the man I know he is... I love him like nothing else and I just want things to be good... I want him to adore our children and to instill trust and confidence... at this point our 5 year old and 2 year old don't even want him putting on their shoes for them... they don't want to hug him or kiss him or have him read a bedtime story...

Anyone who is a parent can imagine how this makes me feel...I am devistated... Just not how I envisioned my life not how I envisioned future...

Julie

As you guessed it...

2007-05-31T14:40:00.001-04:00

Tomorrow is the big move. We were able to book a truck from 3:30pm-midnight tomorrow... but like everything we can't work things out to match at all... because the elevator at our new place can't be booked at the same time... we have the elevator from 2:30-5pm... you guessed it...there is no way we are going to get our stuff into the truck drive from newmarket to mississauga in rush hour traffic and get there for 4pm to give us an hour to use the elevator...so basically we will have to move around the people who have the elevator booked after us... so we might have an hour after 8pm to get everything up...the only saving grace is that the truck doesn't have to be back until midnight so I am sure we can get things organized between now and then... I hope.

I am looking on the bright side of this situation... after tomorrow it is done... so no more having to book trucks and line up times and trying to find people willing and able to help us. I will be able to worry about other things like finding my freaking baptismal certificate and registering emily for school and also finding suitable daycare which I would be calling right now but Gavin is in bed and the papers are in the room he is sleeping in.

If you pray...then please do that school and daycare will just happen easily and that we can afford the accomidations... and of course that tomorrow goes as easily as possible.

I will have pictures of the new place this weekend for your viewing pleasure...lol ya right.

Julie

Bloody Hell

2007-05-27T20:45:00.000-04:00

You know out of every bad, poor, horrible situation shines through stars you didn't even know you had?

This week has been a week from hell. We are moving which is bad enough on its own... but we have hit a lot of bumps in the road. We were not able to move into the new place until next weekend but we had to be out of our place this weekend. The truck rental turned out to be late and the elevator we could book early..9am-11am ... but could only get the truck for 11am... Rob had to work at 1pm (was supposed to start at 3pm but his shift got changed the day before) ... so we picked up the truck booked the elevator for 3pm (the next best time) .... then Rob went to work and I moved our apartment. Uhaul forgot the dolly so I had to move everything by hand down a long hall way through two doors onto the truck... ever tried to move a 100 lb wall unit alone...it was GREAT FUN... by the way for those wondering... I am 5 feet tall.. so it was a feat.

But three hours later I was done and driving up the 404 to newmarket where my inlaws were so nice as to allow us to displace their cars for teh week and store our stuff in their garage...And if you haven't figured it out yet not only was our stuff displaced but also US. So my good friends Dayna and Melissa agreed to allow us to crash at their place for the week.. so we are inconveniencing two households...and we love them both so much for allowing our family of four to live, breath, eat, shower and sleep here. The answer to my thanks is "that is what friends are for" but how many of your friends would do that for you...??

Tonight we were outside bbq'ing and Melissa said to me "Jul if you didn't have bad luck you wouldn't have any luck at all..." then she accidently spilled my drink....haaha...too true!!

THANKS!!! A million times.

Julie

Do you ever?

2007-05-23T12:43:00.000-04:00

Do you ever invision something bad happening...like maybe you are walking down the stairs and for just a split second you envision your two year old falling down...and it makes you grab their hand to prevent it...

Or maybe your driving in the car and you can see yourself in an accident and it makes you shake your head and pay attention more?

I can't be the only one who experiences these things. For me they are small reminders to slow down and be careful. I will hold my kids hands rather then letting them walk down concrete stairs alone, or I will start paying attention more when I drive. They just make me alert to the fact that something COULD happen.

My poor dear husband gets these visions to however he has been handling them very very differently.

For a long time I have wondered just what the heck is up. When we are alone Rob is a GREAT husband, he is a great person. He is attentive and caring... we can talk for hours and have no arguments or outbursts...but inject our children into this situation and he just can't. We stop talking and start bickering, He has no patients with the kids. It seems as though he holds them at arms length and can't or wont get to close to them. He loves them don't get me wrong but he isn't one of those dads who really play with the kids or exerts a lot of attention on them.

This makes me so sad because I know he has it in him I KNOW he wants to be that dad...He is that husband and you will just have to trust me to know that "THAT" dad is in him...but I don't know how to pull it out of him...

We talked last night and really seriously got some things out. I told him how I feel and that I NEEDED to know what is wrong. And he said he has dreams, bad dreams, at night and during the day. Car crashes with the kids and I dying in them. He said it is always a car crash that kills us... and he said that he also dreams of himself dying but it isnt' an accident...he is always taking his own life. (Don't freak he isn't suicidal-which is why this is bothering him)...

So I asked how he feels when he dies and he said really releaved.... like the weight of the world has been lifted.

I think these dreams make perfect sense and have explained some things to me.

I think that he is afraid to loose us...afraid to really let us in to love him and for him to REALLY love us....because if he does and something happens he would not want to even consider feeling that kind of pain. I think this is why I have felt that since we had kids he has held us all at arms lenght...loving us but not Giving himself fully to us....

And I think the dream about himself is about feeling overwhelmed with responsibilities...this one is hard because I think all parents feel this way .... You HAVE to work to make money even if you don't enjoy that job. And you HAVE to have daycare for your kids...can't 'crate train them' like a dog... and you HAVE to have healthy home cooked dinners for the kids...and you have to have...and you have to do... and you have to watch....etc etc etc. But I guess the question is how to get this feeling to be more managable ... i think his is more $ related. Soooo we have some planning and organizing of our finances to do so that he feels more in control of his situation.

My dear Rob felt like he coulnd't tell me about these dreams because he thought I would be so mad at him and that he feels like its demonic and he didn't understand them. Rob ... baby... I understand and im not mad... you are a great husband and a great father and it is OKAY to love ... even if you have to loose... becasue if you loose and you never gave yourself the option to really really love us...it would be so much more painful.... Love us...don't be afraid!

Julie

OH THE PAIN!!!

2007-05-22T11:19:00.000-04:00

Holy Crap sandwiches...the next time I think of moving please someone kick me in my mfin mouth...I beg of you!

This process has ultimately pissed me off beyond belief. Let me regail you with the drama that is my life.

First we knew we were moving from our current place. Lets just say that the building has SERIOUS foundation problems and that being on the 17th floor with serious foundation problems does not make me feel safe at all. So we made the decision to leave. We started the search for a new place... So tell me again how people can run buildings that look like shit, smell like shit, and I am sure if I was so inclined to lick the walls would taste like shit? Not only are they shit but they are expensive to boot... Excuse me while I turn away and run. We saw a lot of places like ...THAT.

But the out of the clearing came an apartment that is nice, clean, bright, bug free (good god I HOPE) renovated, and the common areas are nice too... so we jumped on it...went home, jumped on line, and submitted our application 3 days later we had not heard a thing..so we called ... they lost our application... and now they have no two bedrooms...BUT...they ahve a very nice one bedroom...HUMMMM ya, no two kids...can't do a one bedroom... I got pissed and called the district manager and she said NO actually we have a two bedroom available go in put your money down and its yours... FANTASTIC.

You would think that is the end of the story right? YA, RIGHT!!

On Saturday we went in to sign the lease. We also had to sign a sheet of paper saying that we are willing to let them renovate the unit once we are moved in. We have the choice of underground or above ground parking. So I asked the rental person if she could take us to see the underground parking. She said she can't she doesn't ahve the keys, So i asked her if there are a lot of stairs because if there are then I want outdoor but if there are not then indoor...SHE HAD NO IDEA...SHE HAS NEVER BEEN DOWN there... now tell me if you were hiring someone to be a rental agent, someone who essentially has to sell your unit woudl you not want them to have been in the building and to answer basic questions??? Okay, good I thought it was just me.

SO... Lets say that next weekend when we move in...it will be a nice surprise.

Julie

HAPPY BIRTHDAY...sweet cheeks...

2007-05-16T12:11:00.000-04:00

This is my husband.

Man have we been through a lot. Our journey started in 1998. In those years we have really battled uphill. We have survived through some things we never thought we could... we have shown eachother the door on so many occasions...but neither of us have walked through it. We have brought two kids into this world (with blue eyes and blond hair? Go figure).

We have battled through depression, job losses, financial failure, deaths, births, friendships gained and lost. And through it all we still loved.

Today is my man's birthday. And what a birthday it is. It is the rebirth of another year, a new beginning for us. A new day to love and care and raise our family.

Oh sure he is definitly a jackass a lot of the time but he is working on it... hahahah.. but the Rob that I know, the real Rob is a big teddy bear who would give you anything in return for nothing, he would scoop you up and hold you tight if you are worried or scared or hurt.

I love this man more today then yesterday... and he's lucky to have me...hahaha did I just say that?? Damn right I did.

I love you Rob...

Happy Birthday

Jul

Don't take it for granted.

2007-05-14T12:03:00.001-04:00

My good friend K lost her husband this morning of a heart attack. He has diabetes and has been suffering for 5 years with foot problems, ulcers, sores, breaks etc.

He was told about a year ago that they should be removing his foot. But he was so afraid. My friend K said it like this. “It isn’t as though you are in an accident and you wake up without it, this is YOUR choice. Imagine having to make the choice to remove your foot.” And as we all would be…he was afraid. Afraid of his quality of life after his foot is removed. He just couldn’t see how he could live without his driving foot….

He waited for one whole week before going into the hospital. His toes were black and he knew he would not have a choice he would need to have some part of his foot removed. So Thursday May 10, 2007 he finally went into the hospital and it seemed like they could help him without removing his whole foot although they wouldn’t really know until they did the surgery. It was at least positive news.

K was so stressed out the last few weeks. She was worried about him and frustrated that he wasn’t willing to get medical attention.

This morning when I got to work there was a message from her saying that her husband had passed away this morning. She wasn’t there with him although she was getting ready to go to the hospital to be with him. She is just devastated. And I feel so bad for her.

This really serves as a wake up call for me. And should for you too… life is short, he was 45 years old. Don’t think for one second that tomorrow is a guarantee. Get healthy, get motivated, and for God’s sake take care of yourself. Don’t wait if there is a health concern; don’t think you can handle these things by yourself. Hug your spouse, don’t worry about all the little things in life, Money is money, possessions are possessions, family is PRECIOUS!!!

Julie

To My Momma!!!

2007-05-13T11:36:00.001-04:00

What could I possibly say to the mom who gave so selflessly her whole life?
The mom who always knew enough.
The mom who always asked what kind of eggs we wanted in the morning.
The mom who no matter how mad always held us so close.

Until I became a mom I had no idea love could run so deep.
That the sound of pain from a child could make you do Anything at all to alleviate it.
That patients runs thin but love runs deep.
That children are the worlds most precious gift!

Mom, if your listening...
I love you more then I could ever explain in words.
You are seriously the best mom i could have ever had and I appreciate everything you have ever done for me!

Love you! Happy momma's day.

Julie

Why can't we?

2007-05-11T11:39:00.000-04:00

Someone please explain to me again why we can not punish our children? I don't mean beat them to an inch of their life but for Gods sake.

Yesterday we were out at the local Walmart...and there was this cute little boy, he was about 4 years old and he was having a hayday. Seriously running around, not listening, ruining merchandise, and just absolutely wreaking havoc. And his poor mom, you could see it in her face she was at the end of her rope. She did the 'now johnny you can't touch that' 'get back here' if you don't stop we will be leaving', 'Get in the cart', 'I said don't touch that', ' LISTEN TO ME NOW' etc etc etc...this went on for a long time. And as you can expect Johnny just kept on doing what he wanted with NO regard to his mom or anyone else in the store.

When I was a kid if I were behaving that way my mom would have said "JULIA L----- J---------- GET YOUR BUTT OVER HERE...This is your ONLY warning keep it up and you will regret it" And if I kept it up I would have a hand on my backside, we would leave the store and I would have to think about my behaviour in my room for the rest of the night.." And you know what... I WOULDN"T DO THAT again... I would learn That mom isn't joking when she says ENOUGH.

Spanking is an issue that has been (in my opinion) blown WAY out of purportion... our children don't know what a consequence is...time outs work until they are about 4 years old, when we are out talking only goes so far before the kids realize they have the upper hand.

I am in no way promoting excessive use of force... All I am saying is this mom should have been able to whack him on the butt and put him in the cart. Enforcing that I AM the Boss not you...

One time my husband gave my daughter a little whack on the butt when we were out in a movie theater. She was doing something dangerous and he warned her a few times to stop. She didn't. I was in the washroom and started washing my hands when a woman came up to me and said matter of fact "I hope you know your husband is in the theater beating your daugher!!"....I said 'pardon me?' She made it seem that he punched her in the face. I got back in and said "What the hell is going on!" and he said " What are you talking about?" I regailed him with the details that were just given to me in the washroom and he said "NO, She was ___ I told her to quit it a number of times she didn't so I tapped her on the butt...." And then I was fuming not at him... but at the woman in the washroom. Because this is the reason why our children are running the show, why they don't listen to us, why they feel that the world revolves around them, that no matter how horrible they act the wrost that will happen is a stern warning for some absent punishment that never happens.

I agree that spanking should be used not out of anger but out of direct instant punishment and used when the situation is not inproving with more conventional forms of punishment.

You can choose to agree with me or not but the way I look at it is... If you want to sit on a high horse and judge the mom or dad who are choosing to give a consequence to their child, you are probley the same person who would make a harsh judgement on that same parent if they didn't because their children are miss behaving...

Parenting in my opinion has no room for external judgement from other parents.... your punishment your choice...of course within reason.

Julie

Stolen from the Pioneer woman (link on the side)

2007-05-09T22:08:00.000-04:00

Okay so Today as I do most days I got up turned on my laptop and went to The Pioneer Woman's Blog. And as normal I walked away feeling like I could rip my head off any second now if I can't just run from this concrete dirty hell I live in and run nakid through the abundant fields of GREEN that surround the Impressive Mrs. REE!

And so to be a huge contrast to her greatness...here is a tour of where I live....

This is the view from my balcony! You can notice the abundance of concrete and the one government issued tree for each yard. LOL

This is looking slightly left off my balcony...that would be the Don Valley Parkway...if you are wondering why no traffic...its because this weekend it was closed for repairs. Nice and quiet...finally...

This is the same angle as the last picture...its amazing the amount of Grass we spring up here in the great T dot don't you think?

This is our green space....now tell me you wouldn't love to raise your family here!!!

How about a dip in our moss filled pool...YOINK!

So Ree if you are reading...what do you think? Wanna trade?

Julie

Another 'ripped from the pages'

2007-05-08T17:25:00.001-04:00

Canadian hurt, Mexican police accused of coverup

Okay now I can't be the only one thinking this... What the FUCK is up with Mexico. You could not PAY me to visit Mexico now. I swear every week there is another news story about a person/couple killed while vacationing in Mexico. And the story is always the same.... Man/Woman/Couple killed on resort, beaten, left for dead, stabbed, run down in street. And the Mexican authorities (obviously trying to SAVE their tourisim) keeps claiming everything is an accident. A couple were killed in Mexico just over a year ago their throats slashed in the night... the resort and local authorities decided it would be a good idea to go into the room and clean everything up. The papers and police here say they were less then accomidating through the investigation. It is the same story in every single Mexican killing or injury in the last year.

Honestly why would anyone really want to put themselves in this danger...Now don't get me wrong I KNOW that no matter where you go you can be a victom of random violence and that is no reason not to live your life but in the grand scheme of things the local authorities try to help solve the problem and take it serioiusly where the Mexican authorities are trying to cover everything up...and THAT is where my problem lies...

So Here is a link to the story from today, and some direct quotes from this article pertaining to some of the other stories.
http://www.thestar.com/News/article/211579

"Last month, two Canadians were injured when a gunman fired into the lobby of a hotel in Acapulco, Mexico. "

"In January, Adam DePrisco, 19, also of Woodbridge, was killed outside an Acapulco nightclub. A Mexican doctor blamed the teens death on a hit-and-run driver, but his family and friends believe he was beaten to death. "

"Last February, Domenic and Nancy Ianiero of Woodbridge were found with their throats slit at a resort near Playa del Carmen, Mexico. The murder has still not been solved and the family lawyer has accused Rodriguez y Carrillo of botching the case and outright lying about the details."

So Ya...You wont see me in Mexico. Not really looking to be slain in my bed for drug money today...I might change my mind tomorrow but for today... fuck that...

Julie

Gavin!

2007-05-06T12:24:00.000-04:00

This is my boy. Don't fool yourself and get lost in those amazing blue eyes... he really isn't as nice as he seems. He likes to scream and cry and cry some more... I think this little two year old boy thinks the world isn't fair. I mean his sister touches things, and okay they belong to her but seriously people she shouldn't touch anything because he MIGHT want to touch it himself some day and that makes it HIS and not HERS.

He likes to fool people. He likes to draw them in just with a smile and a flirty blink...but I warn you...he is evil...he will pull you in and then just as he steals your heart he will smack you or scream at you that your drink is HIS drink.

Okay so it is not much different then any two year old so you can fall for him. He is very loyal and he LOVES hair. So Gavin is looking for a sexy two year old blond with long hair and who likes to snuggle. Know any such girl? No?? Okay...

Julie

A Day off...

2007-05-04T16:42:00.000-04:00

Well a Night off. My father in law will be here in about 30 minutes to pick BOTH of the kids up. My amazing, sweet, loving, generous inlaws are taking the kids over night tonight and for most of the day tomorrow....

What does this mean for me you ask? Well some friends are swinging by to pick me up. We have pre-ordered wings and pizza I bought some *wine* (I promise to be better this time). Rob is at work so he will be meeting us once he is off work... tonight I will come home and if the moon alines with the third star next to saturn in the jupiter sky I might get some *wink wink* (Ya right like it would be that hard...My dear husband is always ready willing and able.

He has to work tomorrow so this means I HAVE THE WHOLE HOUSE, TV, INTERNET, FRIDGE, (laundry, dishes, sweeping, moping, packing) ALL to myself....YEHHHHH!! This might actually turn out to be a real honest to goodness break for me..

I can tell you it has been a while...

I will try to remember to take pictures tonight to show tomorrow.

Julie

10 Good things that happened today

2007-05-02T21:11:00.000-04:00

1) The kids got up and ready really easily and our morning routine went really smoothly.
2) I got to work without getting in an accident or pulled over...anyone who commutes feels this way each day.
3) I had a customer tell me that I handled him fantastically and although I could not solve his problem he appreciated my effort and kindness in trying to find a resolution for him.
4) It was busy today which isn't great other then it makes the day go by faster.
5) I talked to my two best friends today and one got her dream job...this is great news.
6) My sisters new puppy is picking up his training VERY well ...this is great news.
7) rob is off work in 1 hour and 45 minutes.
8) Got my pay stub today for my next pay day and there were not surprises... (this is good news LOL)
9) The kids are being good tonight even though they have to stay up late to come with me to get Rob...and up early in the morning to go to daycare.
10)...I am in love with my husband more today then I was yesterday... and he loves me back...we have two great kids and although at times it feels like the world is crumbling...we always have eachother.

what were good things in your life today!!??

Julie

I GOT MY NEW COMPUTER

2007-05-02T10:00:00.000-04:00

Ask me if we needed a new computer?? Nope...not at all we have a 6 mth old Dell Laptop that works basically just fine... but when I got presented with an offer from work ($10 more then I was paying for internet to begin with) for a brand new shinny HP laptop..I jumped...

OH MY GOSH this is like the Lamburghini's of computers... Let me tell you just some of the features I have found... it does all the normal stuff. but has High definition screen for watching movies or TV...(the freaking computer has TV Tuner...YEH) ... it has a built in webcam.... and the quality is just perfect...

Honestly I have been attached to it for the last two days... and I have been having webcam chats with my friends on windows live messanger ... they watch me type ... and I watch them type... Hahaha... too funny but interesting at the same time!!

I will post a pic of this GOD of all computers later... for now I have to get back to work...

Julie

dumb dumb dumb...

2007-05-01T12:43:00.000-04:00

I have been feeling the last couple of months that I am slipping...slidding down this water drenched slide with nothing to grab ahold of to pull me back.

I am a VERY responsible person... I have always been Julie the wife, mom, sister, stable rock. Everyone for my whole life have told me I am a little prudish...And I guess that at times i wonder what would happen if I just let loose and give up the raines for a minute....and I found out exactly what happens.

I get goofy and fun and irrisponsible. The goofy and fun part I can live with and I have decided that I can do that whenever I want, I can Dance crazy in my livingroom wiht Emily. And I can let go and smile just for the sake of smiling... but the Irrisponsible part...that bothers me... I have spent the last two days completly realizing what the F happened on Sunday night and although I had fun and apparently got my groove back I feel horrible about it... now let me tell you nothing horrible happened just a few kisses that shouldn't have ... but the part that really bothers me is that my kids were there... they were dancing silly with us and we were playing and tickling etc.. But Rob and I are quite conservative... and although we have kissed in front of the kids before we are not silly about the kisses... emily is confused...she has been a little withdrawn the past few days and today we asked what is wrong... she said she doesn't know...just that her mind is busy... so we prompted out and she said she doesn't feel comfortable with acting silly like that. We promised to never act silly like that again... and that we love her aand that we were just playing around and we love our friends but that we agreed it got TO silly ...

She has perked up and we agreed that we would do something totally fun this weekend...something completely kid... something that we can act silly and it be completely innocent fun.

Happy, silly mommy IN ...irresponsible mommy...OUT!!

(Advice time-what would you do/say? I wish I could take it back with all my heart but I can't... I can chock this up to she probley feels like a 6 year old who accidentally walked in on mommy and daddy being intimate (I assure you this did not happen... but I have a feeling that her feelings are similar..how do you explain adult sexual nature to a child?)

Julie

Someone Remind me!!

2007-04-30T04:40:00.000-04:00

The next time I decide drinking a full bottle of white wine alone...remind me it is not a good idea.... I think I remember becoming too affectionate to some friends.... Good thing they like me and think I am A-OK.

Basically this is how it happened. We went to our friends house for a bbq with the kids. Sat out on the porch for a couple of hours where we ate dinner and polished off some wine. It was good..... A little too good...the sun started to set so we dragged the kids inside and had a dance athon in the livingroom. We danced crazy and I might have possibly kissed my friends... All in good fun!

Now I need to get to work and it is really really early! I think it is going to be a long day!!

Julie

Oh Crap...

2007-04-22T21:53:00.000-04:00

Well last time I posted it was about 12 pages long and full of detail but when I pressed PUBLISH poof the only thing left was the title... so you all know I met my long lost sister but you have no idea how it went....

So I will start at the beginning... boycot Can Tire...(if you don't know what this is then no need to boycot) My darling twin sister had to get an emissions test done on her car before we could leave to go up north for the weekend because she is Late....ummm very late... getting the stickers on the car renewed...

So she took the car to Can Tire to get the emissions test and she failed the driving part and passed the idel part..so $600 later she took the car back to have it retested and this time they said she passed the drive part but failed the idel part... they say it jumped from .53 to 3.34... HUGE jump so at this point jenn is pissed... so she made an appointment at another shop... a good one and paid full price again to have them test her car again with NO changes ... and passed both tests... with a reading of 0.00.... AMAZING...

So finally after all is said and done it is 12 noon on Friday and we are headed out on the open highway. We stop to pee and get some snacks. In the car is Me, Emily (My daughter), Jenn (twin sister) and Shannon (sister in law).... Well doesn't Jenn miss the turn off for Hwy 69?? So now we are taking the LONG way up... Hwy 11. Dont get me wrong it is a beautiful drive just the same... just.....Longer.. So we stopped for gas on Hwy.11 and Shannon went for a 'space' walk and came across THIS....

It is something else... an old abandoned motel... nothing left to it at all...it was really a sight to behold... just beautiful.

Back on the road again... not to far south of North Bay we stopped at a mom and pop restaurant.. its really a Den of Inequity....we were the only ones eating if you get my drift... So my daughter so sweetly asked if this is McDonalds???? My reply... Do you see any red here hunny??? "Other then bellies???" YES I actually said that... and my loving sister pointed out it is "NECKS" n ot bellies... I am KNOWN for my Julieisms.... they are plentiful. I thought the 'waiter' aka owners 12 Year old son figured out that I was making fun of them because after we asked if they take debit he said yes... and we have dishes... He meant to WASH but I thought he was making a statment like "Ya so what we are red necks ... red necks have china to doncha know'

So finally we make it to our destination and there is a note on the door... reading something like this "well we didn't know when you were going to make it and we waited as long as we could. We are at the leigion's FISH FRY... you can join us if you would like" ... well folks. as tempting as that fish fry sounded... we had to pass. ummm ummm good times.

Everyone arrived back to the house about 30 minutes later and I met Chantal (my long lost sister) Kory (my nephew) Ezrie (my neice) and Den (my brother in law) for the first time. We hugged and talked and laughed and just really met eachother. It didn't feel akward at all.
They all had a great sense of humor and we had some good laughs... we told stories about growing up and she told us about her family and where she grew up. She had to head home because the kids are young and it was late but she invited us all over for dinner at her house the next day.

Saturday morning we got up and lounged around ate breakfast got showered and dressed. My uncle bought a camp site in a park that my grandparents had a spot when we were kids so we (Jenn Shannon and I) drove up to take a look around. I was soooo disappointed. Have you ever gone to a childhood memory and have it be completely different??? That is what this was like... Nothing looked the same at all. I was just sad for my soul. We stopped for some lunch on an indian reserve (It was GREAT). And headed back to the house... but we were late... everyone was gone except mom and Emily who were waiting for us. We told mom that we were stuck in traffic which made her laugh... so all was well. We found Chantals house and had a great dinner. Again sitting around talking. We met her dad who was very sweet and accomidating. Her mom died when she was 17 from cancer which was very sad to learn.

After dinner we took a tour of the house. It is very old school HUGE and each room was very seperate from the others. The house was over 100 years old and is decorated in what can only be explained as 70's Italian. Very cool very retro and different I loved it... (I would definitly renovate it but very cool anyway).

As the day drew on Mom, Grandma and Grandpa and uncle Barry left as we girls were going out on the town later that night. Once they were gone we went for a walk around the neighbourhood and met some more family members and got a little history about the town and people in it.

We met her cousin Paul...OH MY GOD what a riot he was. FUNNY!!! He was funny outside but later that evening he came over for coffee and we sat down around a table and he told stories about the part of Italy he is from and his trips there... also a trip to south africa... Okay let me just tell you the titles of the stories and you can figure out the basis on your own... Sth. Africa... public rest room no toilet, hole in the ground 400 pound guy nothing to hold on to... (he isn't that heavy now but I guess he was at one point). at 17 working on aircraft bringing people to and from far northern ontario...dead guy wants ashes sprinkled over a lake in northern ontario open jar containing his ashes with the aircrafts window open and the air forces his remains back into the plane... everywhere, breathing chocking, windshield had to land the plane to sweep him into the lake... Okay so you get the point...

After that we went out to a gay bar in town and had a good time some drinks.... etc...

Its getting late and this is getting long... it was a good night...here are some pics from our trip...enjoy.

This is Shannon at the old Motel..... Emily in the car pepped up on goof balls ...

Jenn and Shannon at the bar

Top row: Chantal and Julie

Bottom row: Mario, Jenn, Shannon, Den

My cousin Mel and her fiance Mario... Okay this is the cutes kid EVER.... LOVE her ....

Meeting a long lost sister

2007-04-17T15:33:00.000-04:00

OH so much to tell...

2007-04-09T16:22:00.000-04:00

Okay first of all the last two weeks have been B.U.S.Y Busy... So I am going to go back... Last week I stumbled across a website for adpotion searching. I have a sister who was given up when my mom was younger and I thought WHAT the heck!!! So I put an ad...I didn't think anything of it.. Figured the likelyhood of finding her was pretty slim.

So we went to dinner at my inlaws house and came home that evening. Once I got home and put the kids to bed I opened my laptop, logged onto the internet and checked emails...and there was an email form someone named Roxanne saying "I think I have found who you are looking for. Go to "this website" and look under your sisters date of birth and you will see what I mean...

So I did just that and... the name i was looking for was there. Because of closed adoption and privacy I had to contact the administrator from the website and tell her everything I know about my sister she took that information and called my sister to compare infomration and without a doubt it was her...

We exchanged emails and then talked until 1am on IM...Mom met her the next day ...they hit it off great... they both told me later that day that it felt like they were never apart!!! My sister and her children...( IM AN AUNT) have been at moms for dinner a few times and she has met a lot of family now... Well my twin sister and I live 5 hours away so we have not met her yet... Well that is all abouit to change... We will be headed up tomorrow morning for our first meeting.. I am so excited.

Other then that this week has brought some changes for us as well... Rob got a new JOB!! YEHHH this is really exciting news for us... he starts on monday so we are frantically trying to find daycare in our area...

We are also moving next month...so we are frantically trying to find a new apartment...so with all of this going on my posts might be here and there...hold on for the ride!!

Julie

The Vomit Train has stopped.....for now!!

2007-03-28T09:33:00.000-04:00

THANK GOD for small miracles...my crying snotting boy is finally back to his crying snotting self.... no vomit for 24 hours and the kid is eating like a pig...ahhh it is good to be vomit free!! Turns out he did NOT have an ear infection and our family doctor told us to take him off the antibiotics NOW... Apparently a harsh word or two will be going to the walkin clinic doctor..

(If I knew who he was he would get a harsh word from me too!!)

I have to tell you how PROUD I am of myself!! I am a self proclaimed Puke-a-phobe. If someone even says "I feel nausous" My stomach does a lurch and my blood pressure rises and well I start to feel sick myself.

My daughter was really sick all winter last year throwing up at least once a week and it was just really really bad... and each time I reacted as described above... (turns out she had a rotton tooth at the top of her mouth (molar) and it needed to be extracted)..she is all better now...

Well This time...This time, my stomach did not Lurch, My blood pressure stayed normal, and I did not feel sick and I watched the whole thing unfold... multiple times and had to clean it up MULTIPLE times... I am so proud!! Maybe I have Licked this puke-a-phobe thing!!!

That would be nice!!!

Julie

A lesson in patients!!

2007-03-26T14:50:00.000-04:00

My poor baby boy is sick. He is lye on the couch dont' move a muscle, vomit, diareah, belly aches, head ache kinds sick.

It was so bad on Saturday that I made Rob take him to the walk in clinic because the only thing he willingly moved for over 2 hours were his eyes... he is two people that is not normal. He is eating a very little and drinking a little but I can say very honestly there is more water coming out then going in! And quite frankly it scares the crap out of me.

So the walk in clinic doctor said he has an ear infection... and to give him antibiotics... so he perscribes us antibiotics that are really particularily hard on the stomach...grrrr... on top of that the antibiotics have not made even a small difference...so back to the doctor we go...this time our family doctor... and hopefully we get somewhere with it...

I hate feeling so helpless I want to be able to help him!!!

Julie

Who Cares???

2007-03-16T08:32:00.000-04:00

These are pulled right from various newspapers...

60 is the new sexy (CNN)
Girl Scout Cookie Scalper
meet the mullet champ
I QUOTE "Iraq pull out plans advance in House, fail in Senate" "Clinton: US troops needed in Iraq beyond 2009"...Oxymoron??? Moron absolutely!!

Toronto Star
Hiccuping teen at it again
Slaying moves British PM's Wife
More then One way to wear a hijab
Dion's English vs. PM's French

These are just a few examples of shit plastered in our papers ... now don't get me wrong I am all for news ... but is meeting the mullet champ really news?? Who really cares if 60 is the new sexy?? Did we really need to know a teen is hiccuping?? or that a slaying MOVED a British Pm's WIFE??

I mean good God... are we really THAT despirate for good news stories?? I would rather have a smaller newspaper then a bloody thick one full of absolute shit. What a waste of paper!

We have wars going on, Accidents daily that effect citizens lives, crime, poverty, wealth, festivals, weather, etc etc etc... why are THESE things taking back seat to pie eating contests, bad hair cuts, Dion's english vs our PM's french.....give me a friggen break... I don't give a shit WHAT language the PM speaks as long as he gets the fucking job done and there is a translator somewhere around him to tell us exactly what he is saying...

Honestly people are really starting to piss me off. We are so full of ourselves that not one person around me has taken more then 2 seconds to look around and take stock of what the HELL is around them.... We are not living just for ourselves for fuck sake if everyone helped out the person beside them what a lovely earth this would be...Instead I will go MARVEL at how long one USA citizens fucking MULLETT IS!!!

Pardon me for a moment while I google how to effectivly hang myself!!! Good grief!!

Julie

Why Don't I Have a SPINE???

2007-03-09T17:00:00.000-05:00

Can someone please answer this for me? I mean seriously... You know the Fight or Flight reflex we all have...lets just say my FLIGHT reflex is so much stronger then my FIGHT.

I am having a problem with.... a Company..ya a company... Basically I am behind in paying them but not DRAMATICALLY SO... I provided them with a money order last month that they say their bank was unable to cash???? I dont' see how this is possible since it is a MONEY ORDER ... specifically PURCHASED to be GARENTEED funds...Right?

Well now they are demanding I pay that amount again...I just can't afford to....nor should I have to. I already paid it. She did not give me back the check just a note and a $50 service fee for their effort.

Well at home where I am a big shot I scream out that there is NO WAY IN HELL I am paying $50 for their banks screw up ... and I should march right down there and tell them...instead I have been avoiding 'her' like the plaigue... seriously cowering in the corner...Dog with my tail between my legs... an elephant spooked by a mouse.

It is really really bad. And every day I beat myself up over the fact that I always run and never face my problems, if I can avoid them I will at all costs.

What this has created is a whole jumble of problems...now trying to weed through them all I am finding it is really reminding me of a clump of matted hair that I have to pick apart or the 25 million shoe laces my daughter has tied together in a jumbled mess of knots. And I am learning as I go that once all those knots are tied you have no choice but to sit down and pick each knot out with your teeth one at a time... it is a really daunting task...and I am so tired of it.. because as soon as you get what you think is the last knot out and look up...there is a new pile waiting for you.

I am hoping that one day soon I will get to the end of the knots and finally be free and let me tell you...the day I do get through this all is the day I never ever ever look back...

Would love to stay and chat...but i have some knots to undue!!

Julie

I'm Not Ready!!!

2007-03-07T19:54:00.000-05:00

Who the fuck let 10 years pass? Where did it go? And what the hell was I doing for all that time?

This morning I was talking to my sister and she told me about a website I was not aware of... www.facebook.com it is kinda like classmates.com only free and you can search anything or anyone not just people you went to school with. COOL... So as you can imagin my morning was DEVOURED by hooking up to this site and searching out anyone and everyone I recognized!!!

And holy shit!!! Was I ill prepared for what I would find... A lot of people from my past who have gone on and actually accomplished things in their lives. Big things, serious things... I was taking it all in stride no big deal right. I have a decent life... Two amazing kids, A husband, a decent job... So what am I really worried about???

I showed this website to my husband and together we looked up people that he knew. All was going well. We left the house took our Daughter to school (she goes half days) and we went out for a bit of shopping. Picked Emily up from school and Rob just kind of seemed 'off'. So I asked him what is wrong and he said the same thing I was thinking. "I have done NOTHING with my life, did you see what everyone else has done wth their life?"

OH shit...he sees it to. Now to be fair it is POSSIBLE that these people are exaggerating just a little. But really.... I am not in a position that I like, my kids are out of control screaming snotting, blubbering messes and my husband is a Jackass...and proud to be!!

So I said the logical, adult, supportive, thing to say..."hunny you just need to take that feeling wrap it up in a great big ball and put all that energy into DOING something with your life... use it as inspiration"....

Little does he know that I feel the same way...the only difference is that I have been thinking all day about what exactly I want to accomplish in my life and I have yet to come up with anything other then very generic things like, I want a job I love and to make a lot more money then I do now... you know...those things...

Whats the secret to living a fulfilled life and to read about your peers and their lives and feel like you measure up or god forbid are doing better then them...

God help me

Julie

Science for kids??

2007-03-05T08:30:00.000-05:00

This weekend I decided that I was going to take my five year old daughter to the Ontario Science Center. We took her last year but she was alittle to young and didn't get much of anything out of it. So I thought well she is one year older now and might enjoy herself.

So Just Emily and I went. It is nice getting out just the two of us. She still didn't get much out of it... There is just so much to see and hundreds of 'stations' to look at. Her patients is really low. For instance there was the 'human body' exhibit. They have a machine that a kid can sit in and they take your picture and then show you exactly how you will look at different ages. Well it takes 3 minutes and she just could not wait for it. She looked like a crack whore looking for a hit. Just bouncing from one spot to another. I think once she knows how to read she might get more out of it...Or maybe she is just like her momma and needs instant Gratification.

We also took both kids Taboganing (and didn't I forget my camera at home so no pics)... It is so funny to get Nanny on a Tabogan.... We went with my two kids my sister in law rob and I and my inlaws and the two dogs. ... My Sister in law looked like a teenager on a roller coaster... Hands up in the air screaming WOOOOOO HOOOOOOO!!!! FINALLY we got Gavin to like the snow. He was 'digging' with the dogs 'ball whipper' (Looks like a giant spoon that the tennis ball clips on the end and you can whip the ball really far). And then he even went down the hill a few times (without crying)!!! It was really fun and we all had a good time...

Sorry that I didn't update this all weekend was just out enjoying life for a while..

We are also starting to look at moving... fun fun!!

Julie

Oh the weather outside is frightful....

2007-03-01T18:46:00.000-05:00

This picture is out of the toronto Star this afternoon...

Beautiful isn't it? Doesn't it just make you want to walk outside and enjoy mother nature's PMS first hand? Doesn't this picture just make you want to visit Toronto in the winter?

THIS is the reason I am despiratly searching for a Mid Fall climate all year long... Now do you understand?? Good.

Now I am at work and warm sitting at my desk reading all of your blogs and laughing/crying/reeling...right along with you all but all the people around me are coming up with excuses why they have to leave early... the bus, weather bad etc... What this means for me is that I have to pick up everyone elses work while they get to walk out of here.. Now that is just not right...

Weather like this makes me want to go home curl up on my couch with some hot chocolate and baileys a warm blanket and a book (or laptop) and not move a muscle... (remember I said I am a grizzly bear reincarnate)...

My husband "Jackass" is hot blooded and will have every window open and only underwear claiming how completely bloody hot he is and who turned up the god damn heat!!..

Were well suited don't you think? And our kids...they are a mix...Emily loves the cold while Gavin... not so much!

Keep warm and safe everyone!

Julie

Did you say Nakid???

2007-02-28T23:19:00.000-05:00

Daniel Radcliffe aka Harry Potter is .... Nakid...And isn't that a sexy picture? I mean even if he is skinny and I can't help but see Harry when I look at this photo it is still a really sexy picture.

Ya okay so anyone have a round trip ticket to England they want to share with me? because I think of all things in this world I need to see before I die...its Harry potter's....Harry Potter... if you catch my drift.

I know I know...how sick am I? But really I don't think he is THAT much younger then me and I think it is impressive that a man of his young age can get on stage and be completely nakid and be able to keep his .... control (would be the word).

I LOVE Harry Potter... i have read the books too many times and each time I get something else out of them and I am despiratly waiting for the new book to come out so I can put some of my theorys to rest....

Like is Dumbledore still alive and this untimely death just a way for him to go underground, undetected to help Harry defeat 'he who must not be named?'....

Oh it is like watching paint dry just completely painful to have to wait so long between books... And I wonder what the harry Potter Movies will do/think now that half the free world has seen Harry's 'other wand' ....

I mean seriously...look at how much he has grown...I could eat him up right about now... ummm ummm ummm...no mistaking him for a 12 year old anymore is there???

FOR QC GUY!!!!---------> Every man loves Anna Nicole Smith... My husband will appreciate this picture....LOL

Adding insult to injury!!!

2007-02-27T22:59:00.000-05:00

Okay after my rant this morning about gas prices I need to adjust my comments... I have two pressing 'bitch fests' on the way so if you want to ignore me go ahead and put your fingers in your ears...okay?

First today on my lunch I decided that it would be a good time....scratch that...only time I could make it to the bank .... well what the fuck...two tellers in a corporate industry area at lunch time... and ONE was only able to take cash deposits???? Again what the fuck...sorry for the vulgarity but fuck...what the fuck? so I litterally spent 45 minutes waiting at line for the one teller who was worth her weight in shit to get me a freaking money order and I got the privledge of paying $6 for my trouble in service fees... and the kicker...there were only two people in front of me... some guy was trying to cash a check that was not signed....(in my opinion that one is easy....sorry shit head go get it signed and come back...instead they have a 20 min argument over calling for authorization from the check giver...or getting the thing signed....) The other guy was trying to get a whole bunch of different international funds...This forced me to eat mcDungals for lunch and to try to force the food down my throat and drive back to work find a parking spot in the butt fuck middle of no where because some bastard took my spot...(cant really blaim him if the situation were reversed I would have taken the close spot too) . I got back to my desk with 2 seconds to spare...phew....

Then after work I knew I had put off the gas purchase of a life time.... now I usually reserve the heart palpitations and the buyers remorse for large items like...a house, car, boat, cottage...you know...but I found as the pump crept up past $10,000 to fill my little piece of shit ford fuckus that my blood pressure went up and I had to get the man next to me to administer mouth to mouth recessitation....but FIRST before I even got there i had to drive around all over the city to find a gas station that actually had gas ... and when I found it.......therw was a line up down the street. Seems every idiot imaginable was there... now I consider myself to not be that kind of an idiot...but i was in line with them all...so I kinda looked like the refined high class person in the trailer park you know???

its done..but I will be back at a gas station although I think soon we will have to cross the boarder into the US of A in order to get gas at all.... and watch Bush declare an orange alert and soon he will drive his pt cruiser across the boarder looking for weapons of no distruction...

Ripped from the pages!

2007-02-27T07:34:00.000-05:00

No end yet to gasoline shortages

About two weeks ago Esso's refining station around Hamilton had a fire... and they had to cut production in half...(or just about)...So the second the other major and minor Gas companies heard about this cut in production they dropped their pastromi sandwiches and rushed to change the signs taking gas prices from about $.75/Liter to about $.95/Liter...

Now Normally I don't complain about gas prices because really whats the use no one is listening other then the other drivers who are forced to pay huge whaping amounts for this liquid Gold.... "They" say, just use Transit....but have you checked out the price for transit lately... Holy Shit is all I have to say... I did the math...for me to get from my home on the east side of Toronto to my work in Mississauga I would have to take two buses two changes on the subway lines and then would have to switch from the TTC to Mississauga Transit and change two more buses...and because that is changing cities I have to pay again...it would cost me over $10 a day to get to and from work....ummmm ya right... not to mention it takes longer then just siting my fat ass in traffic adding to the polution issue and gridlock...

The reason why I feel so compelled to say anything at all about these 'gas' prices issue is this... As soon as the prices got raised 99% of the population started to bitch and complain about the prices and started screaming and yelling about being gouged and ripped off... because really who is watching the Gas companies to make sure it is fair priceing???

Oh thats right...the GOVERNMENT .... I forgot... My question..isn't that like asking the fox to watch the hen house???

And who is turning up pretty Rosy in this... ESSO! Because although they can't offer gas to us at most pumps.... they can't rape our wallets either... ahh what a sick and twisted world we live in... Anyone want to work on a fuel system that uses garbage with me?? We seem to have an abundance of that...

Julie

Two Kids and a Husband: A little about you!

2007-02-26T18:16:00.000-05:00

Two Kids and a Husband: A little about you!

A little about you!

2007-02-26T15:31:00.000-05:00

This is a picture of my boy Gavin...when he was quiet!!!

Don't we all get these from time to time...Most of the time they are about the same things...this one is a little different...so Here is about me!!

1.NAME? Julia

2. WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE? Yes Named after a kid my mom babysat when she was a teenager.

3. WHEN DID YOU LAST CRY? Came close on Friday morning when (although I am not pregnant) I felt like I was in labour...Nasty stomach bug!!

4. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING? Ummm I don't really 'handwrite'...combo of printing and handwriting...it is legable....most of the time

. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE LUNCH MEAT? cajin chicken breast....with melted cheese...yummy (I told you have to fatten up for winter...you know long hibernation?)...

KIDS? Two Whinny pants and cryee pants... AKA Jesus Christ and Damn it...

7. IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON, WOULD YOU BE FRIENDSWITH YOU ? Depends on the day... I am a nice person...but my kids are hellions...so one might outweigh the other...???. DO YOU HAVE A JOURNAL? Does this count??? If a post goes basically uncommented, is it being read? Does it count as a journal... I think so.... so CHECK I have a journal.

9. DO YOU USE SARCASM A LOT? Ummm does a frog have toe nails??

10. DO YOU STILL HAVE YOUR TONSILS? I will have to ask my husband... haaha of course I do....

11. WOULD YOU BUNGEE JUMP? Well I might have before children...but now... i think they would be pretty devistated if they were left in the world with only dad...becaue I am the soft one... can you imagine...life would suck for them...

12. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE CEREAL? I kinda hate breakfast... but if i have to choose...something sugary and totally unhealthy like lucky charms.

13. DO YOU UNTIE YOUR SHOES WHEN YOU TAKE THEM OFF? what's the point really... I untie them to put them back on...only because I hate when the backs get pressed down...

14. DO YOU THINK YOU ARE STRONG? Absolutely...I could take you an and yo momma... OUCH OUCH why would you hit me??? bastard!!!

15. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE ICE CREAM FLAVOR? Ice cream, did someone say Ice cream...where?? come on guys thats not funny!! I LOVE anything chocolate...

16.WHAT IS YOUR SHOE SIZE? 7 whoda thunk?

17. FAVORITE COLOR? OHHHH favorite things...don't ask me unless it is food...because I have a lot of favorites... Like my husband will tell you... every other song on the radio is my FAVORITE.... Its becasue I can't choose... I am THAT indecisive....

18. WHAT IS THE LEAST FAVORITE THING ABOUT YOURSELF?ohhh where to start...my hair could be less frizzy... and I could be thinner but then I would die in the winter...I would love to have perkier tits, and an ass that doesn't look like someone crumpled tin foil and then despirately tried to smooth it out again....just for starters.

19. WHO DO YOU MISS THE MOST? My sister... You know twins are supposted to be attached at the hip right? well I seem to have lost the velcro...that attached us... Jenn where are you?

20. DO YOU WANT EVERYONE TO SEND THIS BACK TO YOU?YES damn it...okay only if you want me to know who you are!!

21. WHAT COLOR PANTS AND SHOES ARE YOU WEARING? beige cords and black champion runners.

22. LAST THING YOU ATE? a meatball sub...it was okay but could have been better.

23. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW? my coworkers bickering back and forth ... all in good fun!

24. IF YOU WERE A CRAYON, WHAT COLOR WOULD YOU BE? pink... because my daughter is obsessed with pink and that is cool with me.

25. FAVORITE SMELL? fresh clean baby... new car...oh gosh that is the best smell ever...

26. WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THEPHONE? A customer...aren't they lucky...serioulsy.... the start and end with the best....

27. WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLEYOU ARE ATTRACTED TO? size...ummm like um tall and not scrawny... eyes oh my gosh...and thanks to Pioneer woman...I have developped a nice 'thing' for cowboys...sucks to be me in the white north...

28. DO YOU LIKE THE PERSON WHO SENT THIS TO YOU? hummmm ????!!! Ya, Ya I do...

29. FAVORITE DRINK? ohhhhh... Mikes Hard berry.... and diet coke...not together.

30. FAVORITE SPORT? Soccer...Ya soccer...www.paulstalteri.com he is married to my 'best frined from grade school' who I haven't spoken to in forever's sister and I went to highschool with him... (my only claim to any kind of fame!!LOL)

31. EYE COLOR? Kakhi green... very nice I love my eyes...

32. HAT SIZE? Last time I got a hat Rob bought it for me... and I looked like fival from american tail...so...I don't know.

33. DO YOU WEAR CONTACTS? When I am not to lazy to put them in Yes, otherwise i wear my glasses...

34. FAVORITE FOODS? Indian, mexican, italian.... really anything that ends in an "ian"...

35.SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDINGS? this means I am such a woman...Happy endings... I know I know...BUT to my defence I scream a lot less then my big hubby!! You heard me.

36. LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED AT THE MOVIE THEATRE? Movie theater...whats a movie theater??? Havent been to a movie since... Gavin was a very small baby... and I think it was monster house.

37. WHAT COLOR SHIRT ARE YOU WEARING? I am wearing a black teddy..... Oh come on now... a tshirt damn it... and a brown sweater... it is the winter you know?

38. SUMMER OR WINTER? Ummm fall... still searching for the fall paradise...mid fall to be specific... QC have you found somewhere yet???

39. KISSES OR HUGS? Hugs kisses are kinda... wet and .... ummmm well...okay okay if you insist but really I'm not that type of girl....

40. FAVORITE DESSERT? Well Yesterday I went out with some friends and we shared a volcano from the rainforest cafe...Ummmm IN love is an understantement...

41. WHO IS MOST LIKELY TO RESPOND? Well considering... no one...but I will be disapointed if my sister pants doesn't at least try...

42. LEAST LIKELY TO RESPOND? everyone...

43. WHAT BOOKS ARE YOU READING? Hahaha charlotts web reading it to my 5 and 2 year olds they are loving it...

44. WHAT'S ON YOUR MOUSE PAD? I can't tell you as it would reveil where I work and since I don't want a million questions I refuse to say ... You can't pressure me either so don't you even try.

45. WHAT DID YOU WATCH LAST NIGHT ON TV? Youtube...hubby and I crashed in bed and watched youtube last night....

46. FAVORITE SOUNDS? absolute quiet... like you can hear the electricity in the walls kinda quiet...I haven't heard electricity in soo sooo soooooo long.

47. ROLLING STONES OR BEATLES? Beatles... I don't know why I just do...sorry!

48. THE FARTHEST YOU HAVE BEEN AWAY FROM HOME? how embarssing... ummmm Does Chicago count??? Actually scratch that I think that is closer then Thunder bay

49. WHAT'S YOUR SPECIAL TALENT ? Wouldn't you like to know???

50. WHEN & WHERE WERE YOU BORN? Toronto Ontario Canada

51. WHO SENT THIS TO YOU? My good friend Sandy!

Here Kitty Kitty

2007-02-22T10:46:00.000-05:00

Have you ever had to give a cat a pill? It is a pretty complicated process... you have to wrap the cat up in a towel so it does not claw the shit out of your arms, tuck the whole bundle under your arm between your arm and your body to try to keep a firm grip on it... with one hand you have to try to PRY open the little shits mouth and with that same hand you have to try to whip the pill so far back in the cats mouth that it can't spit it back out at you. This never works on the first try because the cat is wiggling around has its hind legs on the back of your arm pushing with all its might tossing and turning trying to get out of your death grip and as soon as you get the pill in... the stupid cat spits it out...

I know we have all see this and if you have not seen it then you HAVE to, you will have a new found appreciation for multitasking..

Well this is basically what it looks like trying to brush my two year olds teeth... HE hates it... clamps his mouth shut, gags, spits, makes the most horrible faces...you would think i was trying to force him to brush his teeth with chlorex toilet cleaner. I have resigned to putting tooth paste on his brush and letting him chomp on it in the bath... this is NOT a good cleaning technique and I am sure that when I get his 5 year old dental bill I will come back here and tell you wrapping your child in a towel, placing them under your arm while they kick and scream is a great investment and money saving plan...just take that $4000 you would have spent on cavity repair and tooth extractions and put it into a RRSP for your future nest egg.

Julie

(Picture came from http://www.xmission.com/~emailbox/funnyphotos1.htm . As a side note I do not own a Cat so no cats were harmed in the making of this blog.)

You think I'm Joking

2007-02-20T21:33:00.000-05:00

My sweet, loving, amazing little boy, Gavin is a screamer....I mean a serious screaming crying blubbering baby. I know I have said it before but seriously I am not lying. Screaming and crying are his prefered choice of communication. When he is an adult I think he will be pretty dramatic and will probley consider himself excentric.

You don't believe me?

Here let me prove it.

Notice the frazled look on my face!Still don't believe me?

Okay if this doesn't convince you nothing will.

Click here....

I gues you would scream like this too if you were made to dress like this...

Poor Gavin....but it is smiles like this will melt your heart!

What's a nick name?

2007-02-19T21:23:00.000-05:00

A term of enderment, a short form for you name, a word to describe you? Could really be any of these don't you think?

Whats your nick name? Mine is Jul, J, Ju, Julie, bbm (my husband calls me...don't ask).

My Daughers is Em, Emmy, Em's.

My sons is Gav, G, whinny butt, stinky pants.

My husbands...Rob, and my personal favorite....Jackass.

Yes it has gotten so bad that even my kids occasionally call him that, Sometimes it is a term of enderement like when he says something funny... I will tell him he is an ass or a jackass while laughing at him... most of the time... it is more a description of his real life behaviour...My husband it the biggest Jack ass around. He is worse then Simon Cowel. I mean the man has the patients of an 11th grade science teacher on 'flamables' day.

We are vastly different in our parenting styles that we end up clashing in almost every way possible. In Robs world there is no chances warnings or consequences. He talks to our five and two year olds as though they are teenagers fully capable of comprehending all that is right and wrong. He believes with all his heart that people spend to much time talking and reasoning with their children and he is of the opinion that he is the boss and they are the kids so that is good enough reason to do as he tells them. And in a sense I can totally see where he is coming from ... I am really not the type of parent that will discuss and reason with a child for 2 hours sometimes the answer is just no... usually with an explaination. "no you cant walk across the top of the couch because you will fall off hit your head on the coffee table and die, do you want ot die?? then don't do it." With Rob that same scenario turns into "GET DOWN FROM THERE, ...., Because I SAID SO"

What Rob has created for himself and inadvertantly for me is a power struggle. It is a back and forth tug of war of power going on during almost every waking hour of his day... He has one end of the rope and our two children have the other end. Now Rob thinks he is winning this tug of war becasue "HES THE BOSS, and he SAID SO" but really...our kids have hands down won this round.. They drive him completely crazy. In the car... Emily turns into a chatter box the girl just doesn't know how to shut up and on top of that she is not mastering the skills of being a part of a conversation so she ends up interupting our conversation...she can't stand not being included and we try so hard to talk about things she can be included in but at times we have just a flat out conversation together and I hear this 'Mom?, MoM?? Momm, MOMMMMM, MOMMY, Mom, mommy Until I say WHAT already... then I remind her she is interupting and one excuse me will be good enough and that when I will finish my sentence I will ask her what she would like to say... Less then a minute later..."mom, mommy, momma, mom, MOMMY....' grrrrr... all the while that little boy of mine... Cries and cries and cries.... he wants a bubba...so I give him a bubba but he doesn't want water, milk, juice or whatever else is presented so I take the bubba back then he cries that he wants the bubba...it takes about 50 seconds of this behaviour before you can litterally see Robs blood boil.. he has HAD ENOUGH... and he lets us all know how ENOUGH he has had it...

My dear darling asshole grew up in a house of adults his parents were older he has one sister who was nine when he was born. And he was not allowed to be a child and he is also a carbon copy of his dad. He hated growing up with his dad because 'he was never allowed to have fun' and his dad was too strict. I remind him of this daily but now he has changed his tune and says "ya well maybe he had a point"...UMMM no... nope, no he didnt'. What this is caused is a man who doesn't KNOW how to let a child be a child, He doesn't know how to react other then how he was reacted to as a child.

He is not abusive and he loves our children to the ends of the earth he just needs some quiet. He is this way with everyone. In the stores he is the guy yelling EXCUSE ME at people blocking the isles as they are oblivous to the fact they are in Walmart on a Saturday and holding up 12 people. That is just the kind of guy he is.

In those situations I say excuse me nicely, does his way work...absolutely, Does my way work yes... he just has NO patients for it...most people will say "excuse me, Excuse me, EXCUSE ME" to him that is wasted breath... cut to the chase you are going to have to yell at them anyway. His a a pessimist to the end. The world is just not a good place.

We see things vastly different from eachother... But who is to say my way the the best way... I don't really know... I am sure if he were sitting here writing this he would be saying things about how I parent. How I reason with the kids, how I give into them, how easy I am on them...

Maybe the truth is that I go so much easier because he is so hard on them...and maybe he is hard on them becuase i am too easy... What do you do? Seriously if you are lurking... how do you handle them..how do you and your husband work together? Are you a team are you the coach and the ref? Are you the teacher and the principle? Good cop bad cop? How is it working for you?

Kids 10,000 Parents....0

Julie

winter hibernation---over?

2007-02-16T22:33:00.000-05:00

Ahhh a Friday off.... What would you do? I was thinking I would lounge at home and do my 100 lbs of laundry and I was going to call in the priest to do the excersism on our dinner table, but instead we went out to play in the snow.

I intended to watch the kids run around and play I thought at worst I would get a few snow balls launched in my direction... Instead I fell over while crouching down to get a pic with the kids... they took me out... down on the snow filled cold ground...then I figured that since I was already wet and cold might as well have some fun with it...

So while Emily and I threw snow balls and made snow angels my little terror Gavin.....

Cried...

And Cried...

Did I mention he Cried??

And after all was said and done... Rob gave the gesture of the day... a whole hearted two fingers up to winter!!

Valentines day as it was meant

2007-02-15T08:15:00.000-05:00

So last night I planned to do something fun and special for my family...

My plan was to go to the store after work (I have about an hour commute). Pick up dinner-take out...whats wrong with that didn't you read about my commute?? Pick up some booze for the hubby and i because apparently the sex it so much better with a few mikes hard mixed in. (ahahhaha...Rob if you are reading this... Sex is GREAT any time...UNLESS it is late, the kids have been bad, the tv is on, dinner was crap, the dishes aren't done, its cold, its hot ... well you get the point!! LOVE YOU).

We were going to have a candle light dinner. Well we had a winter storm so it took longer to get home then normal stopped at the store and had to wait in long line ups because apparently I was not the only one who waited last minute to get prepared.

So I walked in the door about 7:45pm 45 minutes past bedtime for the kids... I got them McDicks Chicken nugget happy meal with Chocolate milk for my five year old daughter and a hamburger happy meal ONLY KETCHUP and a chocolate milk for my two year old... because chocolate milk is the VERY best thing to give to two hyper kids who are already past bedtime. I got hubby and myself a sub (I know romantic eh?) One look at my house and the candle light dinner was out... I mean really the dinner table is going to need an exercism to get all the shit off ... and a candle light dinner is NOT romantic when the whole house looks like a brick built shit house exploded. SO candles stayed away. I unwrapped the kids dinner and layed it over the ... table. then I put the Mikes hard in the freezer to chill because at this point...I need a drink but it needs to be cold... Rob and I eat our dinner get the kids in the bath and then into bed... and I had to run out to the pharmacy becuase the v-day cards we got for my daughters classmates did not meet up to her 5 year old expectations.

At the end of all that Rob and I just... Crashed... he looked at me and said... so we gonna do this thing? and I asked what thing he was talking about... It was cold, i was tired, he was tired, the kids were in bed late, the dishes were not done, the table needs a priest, the house needs an industrial vacuum...you get the picture. WE were asleep in minutes.

On the drive to work this morning Rob reminded me... the alcohol (twist top and carbonated) is still in the freezer. OH SHIT... From this moment on I refuse to open the freezer...the one place in the house the kids can't touch and is in relative good clean condition has now been violated I am sure of it and if I see it... it might be the end of me!

Do you think heads really can explode with too much stress and mess??

Julie

Happy V-Day

2007-02-14T08:12:00.000-05:00

So do you have plans? Have someone special to share the day with? Do you think this is the stupidest holiday ever?

Me too. Imagine you have no one to share the day with or that your feeling the passion drain from your marriage and this day just reminds you that life sometimes sucks.

I love my kids, my husband, my family, my friends.... I try to show them daily how I feel...but when the big V day comes... I kinda cringe... I had to buy $10 V-Day cards with Disney Princesses on them... for my five year old to hand out in school. And then today ends up being a snow day! (I still have to come to work). I guess Emily will have to wait until tomorrow to hand out her cards.

Do you have plans? I am going to cook a nice meal for my family we are going to light some candles on the table and we are going to enjoy eachothers company come hell or high water damn it.

Then the kids will go to bed and the hubby and I will relax on the couch watching tv hopefully with a tall glass of .... insert alcoholic beverage here.... and then we will hit the hay.

I got to work this morning and my boss handed me my favorite candy ... Thanks Dave...today might just turn out to be a good day... Gotta love V-day. LOL

Julie

Get Jiggy with it!

2007-02-12T15:16:00.000-05:00

We are starting to get my chunky monkey of a daughter into more activities. See I am her momma and in my past life i was a grizzly bear (seriously just look at my legs you will believe). And because grizzly bears hibernate in the winter SO DO I. I also try my best to pound up before the deep freeze... hence the extra bagage on me... (okay so what if you think that is an excuse for being... well rotund)...
Well yesterday my sweet daughter dumped a glass of red juice on her white shirt at the diner table and decided to take off the shirt and crumple it in a ball to set. And I noticed... Wow she is getting pretty chunky. Now my daughter is CUTE CUTE CUTE and so amazing and a little chub won't turn me off from snuggling my princess... but she is getting noticably heavier when she says her 'legs don't work, carry me up the stairs mommy'.
So the time has come. WE are Joining the Y... well provided we can afford it.. but that is a different story for a different time. Once I can look back and laugh.
I asked her what activities she wants to do. Ballet is her answer. You see she is a princess, go ahead ask her. Nope she doesn't just want to be a princess or aspires to be a princess she IS a princess and because of this princesses need to know how to dance and it has to be ballet.
So since she is a princess shouldn't she be: poised, careful, clean, courtous, friendly, delecate, beautiful, loving, wouldn't hurt a fly, friend to all wildlife, a great sister...
Well... she is clumsy, gulable, dirty, messy, unclean, distructive, selfish, beautiful, loving, squishes bugs, pushes her brother, yells at her brother...
Two out of 12 ain't bad.
So we will give her number 3 in being able to dance ballet...this gives her the right to wear a tutu and will convince her further she is from the royal blood she feels running through her veins. (gosh this kid needs to open her eyes and look around. Princesses don't live in squaller)...
Oh well to be able to BELIEVE with all my heart I am a 110 lbs blond with big boobs and a flock of men wanting me, to have the laugh and air of a woman taken but so hot anyway, to have millions in the bank, to be able to eat anything I want and stay at a very amazingly hot 110 lbs, to be able to orgasm just by being looked at. Hey if she can dream so can I.

OH SHIT!!

2007-02-10T15:21:00.000-05:00

Since I was about two years old I have always considered using the washroom as a complete and total inconvineince. I mean really who has the time to get up and WALK to the washroom? NOT me...

So this led me down the path of utter defeat that only my children could save me from.

Did i wet the bed? NOPE... I had a more profound daytime 'accident' problem. As children my sister and I walked home from school and my sister was the 'keyholder' mainly because I couldn't handle a key. Even on a string around my neck I still had the ability to loose it within 15 minutes of having it... and miraculously they were never found...EVER!!

I used to rush home, especially in the winter and my sister was a doddler. I was always home 15 minutes or more in advance to her and because she was the 'keyholder' I had to wait for her. Now if anyone lives in a cold climate you KNOW what happens when you go from hot to cold to hot again...an uncontrolable urge to pee. Can you imagine me dancing around the halls of our apartment building trying with all my might to hold back the pee that was threatning my clean dry pants. Finally I would have to get down and basically sit on my foot in a last ditch effort to keep the pee at bay. This is the position of doom because now you can't move...if you do, all hope is lost! And trust me when I say I lost it more times then I made it. To this day I don't know how the carpet outside our door did not end up smelling like the bedroom of a 6 year old who still pees the bed... you know ... that smell. (I can only assume my mom went out each night with a bucket of Tide water and cleaned it?? Mom did you??)

And my lovely sister always knew just how to comfort me...First she would walk up the hall and see me and say something along the lines of "YOU DIDN"T" To which I would reply "well if you didn't take so DAMN long to get here"... And then she would call me an idiot and open the door. That is embarrassing in and of itself however this same ritual once happened at my aunts house.

My sister, cousin and I went for a long walk through the cemetary beside my aunts house. It was always a beautiful walk but by the time we got back to the house this doomed day I REALLY had to go ... and NO ONE WAS HOME... the house was locked. So I started the dance, then walked around a truck in the parking lot and promptly pissed my pants. My cousin HOWLED with laughter. ( I on the other hand did not think it was funny at all). When my aunt got home I went straight upstairs to change and throw a load of laundry on while my dear bitch of a cousin called around to all and I do mean ALL of her friends to regail them with the story of me peeing my pants, note: I was 16 years old.

I also had a problem wiht the back end. I am sensative to milk and when I was a child it effected me by causing constipation. Because of this I grew afraid of going to the washroom because I KNEW shit hurt. So I just didn't. I could hold it for over a week actually more like two weeks. I could hold it so long my eyes, hair, nails, skin all turned brown and swollen... I would hold it until it could not be held any longer. Until the threat of explosion. It was at those times I would have no choice but to let it go... and as you can imagin two weeks worth of exhile ... wasn't pleasent. My parents had to go further then the normal plunger they actually bought the 'snake' I know you know what that is! After hovering 3 feet above the bowl and a lot of pain later I would vow that I would NEVER go to the washroom ever again. Forget it... pooping is HIGHLY over rated.

Hence the cycle continued. Fast forward to my early twenties and my pregnancy for Emily. I don't knwo what it was, not eating for 4 mths because nothing was ever good enough for my embryo because she would just kick it back up my throat and waste it in the porcaline thrown...or the weight of a baby on my bowels but i had no choice but to go regularily... and guess what. Poop doesn't hurt when it isn't packed in there for weeks on end. WHO KNEW!!!??? So after having her I vowed to go to the washroom at least once a day.

And I have gotten better but still there are times when, well, I just tend to go into my little 'the washroom is so inconvinent' mode and wait a couple of days. But before you order a hot water enima for me understand it is so much better now.

My husband on the other hand... he goes WAY more then a normal person. And he has NO ability to hold it. If the urge hits we need to find a washroom NOW. I think I have seen the inside of every mall, tim hortons, gas station etc in southern ontario.

And I find that each and every time this happens I think to myself Good God I wish I could teach my husband the delicate intracacies of holding fecal matter for a week at a time and I tell him he needs to exercise his rectum... Never in a milion years would I ever have considered my little bum quarks to come in handy but let me tell you I can hold diarea for HOURS if need be. And that comes in handy...I don't care who you are!!!

Sweet relief.

Julie

That Costs HOW MUCH?

2007-02-09T16:36:00.000-05:00

Why is it that when you go to Walmart, you always end up paying a LOT more then you thought you would?? I think my daughter captured pay time PERFECTLY don't you?

We got a new Walmart about two weeks ago. This is a full serve Walmart... Like groceries and everything. Not the two isles of grocery, OH NO... we are talking about 50ish isles of Groceries...oh my!!

And after we had over $120 in Groceries then you start in on the regular Walmart sections, and although you generally spend the same kind of money each payday anyway, it just isn't in one place. It seem just so wrong ....BUT on the otherhand it is nice not having to drive to 3 or 4 different stores. For now my decision on whether or not I actually LIKE Walmart is out! Once I figure it out I will let you know.

Today was ice sculpture day at school for Emily and I did not remember until we walked into class... Normally it wouldn't be the end of the day, but today was different. She asked to wear a dress to school and she has this pair of pink sparkle ballet type shoes that she asked to wear. I agreed because well WHO Cares really. She stays indoors at school because she only goes half day. And on top of that we drive her in....SOOOOO she went in ballet shoes. Well good god isn't today the ONLY day this year she needed to have boots and warm cloths because they will be OUTSIDE in the SNOW Playing with Colourful ICE makine ICE SCULPTURES. My poor baby girl had to watch the other kids through the window because she was not dressed appropriately... Just one more thing to tell her therapist when she gets older...

For now... she still loves me. (Tomorrow we will be building ice sculptures in our livingroom!)

Julie

Phenomenal Phenomenon

2007-02-07T19:57:00.000-05:00

Today while driving home from work my five year old daughter Emily asked me a question. This question threw me for a loop, because I didn't expect to have to anwer this question, ever.

She asked me "why does the world have brown people?"

Can you see why I might be taken back? So I answered her. I told her that in this world there are white, peach, yellow, tan, light brown, brown, and dark brown people and it really doesn't mean anything other then one more thing that makes each person unique. She pretty much accepted that and we moved on to what it means to be unique and how one becomes unique.

So we went around the car pointing out each of our unique qualities and what makes us individual. We determined that Gavins blond hair and blue eyes make him part of who he is and his ability to climb and jump and scream...we determined her 'gold' hair blue eyes, love of singing and dancing are qualities that make her unique and individual.. Mommy...well I was determined to be kind, gental and loving and daddy was unique in his ability to help the children all the time ....

This topic got me thinking about personalities and faults, the good the bad and the ugly. There are people who seem to be in purpetual bliss the world is always great and even if the chips are down they find joy in each moment and each day... then there are people like me who are generally happy but have had moments where they feel the world could not be any worse but eventually we can pull ourselves out of that feeling and move on with life... then there are people like my dear husband.

Rob sees the world through shit coloured glasses. If something is good he is WAITING for it to crumble down around him...he is convinced that his lot in life is purly to get through it with minimal damage to himself or anyone else. If you ask him "how are you?" his answer is almost always "could be better". Or 'shit, how are you?". I am a psychiatrist by heart... I just can't accept that from him. (This is probably why I was attracted to him and why I am still here) I have this despirate need to show him the world in all its glory.

Last night we had a long conversation because he really has been short with our kids...he can't stand the constant noise and blatent ignoring that two and five year olds are masters at. And he made a comment to me... he said 'you really see the world through a rainbow don't you?' And the answer is YES I do...it isnt' all pink roses, I have blue days and green envey days and royal purple days and happy yellow days... I have them all and my ability to jump from one colour to another makes it that my life is a happy pretty content one and that I am able to enjoy a nice walk and that I can look at nature and see beauty and I can stop and listen to the birds chirping and feel my heart skip a beat. These are all feelings and emotions that my dear husband does not have... and I dont think he has ever taken the time to stop being a grouch long enough to really TRY to enjoy life.

So I asked him... close your eyes and think of memeories in your life that make you feel warm, loved, smile, happy etc. And at first he couldn't come up with a single thing... not one..Imagine not being able to think of one moment in your life that you have felt completely content. Can you? So I offered him up some childhood memories that I KNOW made him a content boy...like going to his parents friends cottage as a child, spending time in England with his Grandparents, His Nan taking him to the market, going pub crawling at 12 years old in england with some older cousins. Holding his new born baby girl and boy for the first time.... those kinds of things and before long he was offering up other memories that make him smile. This makes me believe that under his GRUMP, depressed, life is shit attitude there is a man who really REALLY needs someone to teach him HOW to see the world through a rainbow.

The problem... it is a long, tough, heartbreaking road. Watching someone you love battle depression, someone that has convinced himself the TV and couch is his best friend one who has accepted that being lazy is his way of life...

I am up for the challenge...because I love him...im just saying...it's hard.

Julie

Two Year olds

2007-02-06T16:42:00.000-05:00

Gavin is my two year old. What a beautiful little boy he is. I love him with every fiber of my being, my heart melts just looking at him...but ... he has found his inner two year old and I am just dying.

Temper tantrums are becoming the norm on a minute to minute basis. He has learned to cross his arms across his chest raise them into the air and slam them down again with an audible 'hummm' and if that doesn't work the next step is the foot stomp. The foot stomp is a warning, it means give me my way RIGHT now or this is going to escilate and you DON'T want that. The foot stop can be and is combined with the arm crossing and the 'hummmb". Now if that doesn't get my attention a scream that would stand the hair on your neck straight up comes bellowing out of my amazing two year olds mouth... It sounds an awful lot like a horror movie...where the woman goes running up the stairs with a knife wheilding psychopath on her heals...you know THAT scream. It lasts about two seconds and starts again. After about two of these screams I am known to scream back "GAVIN, Stop that use your WORDS" and usually is followed by the phrase 'agghhhh'. He usually answers me with a very loud "NOOOOOOOOO".

Now I am pretty patient, my bipolar husband however has seriously considered selling both of our children on EBay... He even jokes with our motor mouth five year old daughter that he is going to staple her lips shut which throws her into a FIT of laughter... of course she is pretty bipolar herself...because sometimes she 'gets' it is a joke and other times she bursts out crying and when we point out it was a joke and to lighten up she comes forth with this statement "well daddy YOU HURT MY FEELINGS".

Back to Gavin for a minute... We have recently moved him to a toddler bed and he has since learned he is strong enough to move the toddler bed around the room. So when he wants to climb on the dresser and throw himself off onto his bed screaming "JUMP" at 11pm at night, he can do that....Or if he wants to rip down all the cloths in the closet that I just hung back up he can do that....Or he can use it to get high enough to climb over the gate in his bedroom door to come out to the livingroom to tell me he is HUNGRY! (Remember it is 11pm now) he can....

Now God forbid the person who tells him no, or get down, or stop that, they will get to see the two year old change from a smiling happy boy to a royal terror in 2.2 seconds flat. When I get home I will post some pictures to show you just how .... LOVELY he is... You will want to take him home (and he is just $29.95 on Ebay Just search Lucifer reincarnate)....

Julie

Sisters and daughters

2007-02-04T21:03:00.000-05:00

Did you know I am a twin? Well I am. I have a lovely sister who lookes exactly like me. Well I have long hair and she has short hair but other then that... oh and we don't dress alike, or act the same... really we are very different... Jenn are we even related?

hummm starting to really wonder!

Just kidding. My sister is great when she isn't being a pain in my ass. As all sisters go we have always got along great. No matter where I went I always had a best friend. When we moved to a new school I never had to sit alone in the lunch room feeling like everyone is looking at me. That was always a great thing for me. Because it was not uncool to hang out with your twin sister as it would ahve been if we were different ages.

So my sister has no children and since she has watched mine she does not WANT to have any children... (side note: Jenn you are really missing out!!!) So on Saturday my sister and her partner took my Daughter Emily for the day and when I called about lunch time the question of the day was not how do you get a stapel out of a kids forehead or Is it safe to let her swing from the chandelier like that... Nope it was "What do you do when she is not interested in the activities for more then five minutes...???" First I have to say WOW activities?? We don't do activities here... LOL... My answer to that is this simple two word statement..."GO, Play!"... but for a family that has no children Go, play does not seem like an options "GO, play" congers the idea that now the 5 year old child is not going to have fun and not want to come play anymore...

So as you can imagine my children have my sister and her partner wrapped around their little fingers.

Oh what you need proof...how is this...

My sister put on a movie to watch with Emily ... Over the hedge or something like that.. and about 25minutes into the movie my sweet lovely daughter turned to my gulible sister and says "I KNOW, Aunty Jenny We should go to the STORE because I REALLY need a new Barbie doll... " and the answer at my house would have been... " REALLY??? I didn't know you got a JOB... good for you Emily... The rent to live here has gone up from free to $10/week which is a BARGAIN .... " To which my sweet lovable girl would have laughed and said "OH MOM"...

Well my sister thought OKAY...turned off the movie and they TOOK HER TO THE STORE TO BUY A NEW BARBIE...Just one you ask...NOPE MULTIPLE... and five outfits... ummm so who exactly is in control in this situation.

Now my daughter is cute and really hard to look in those sweet eyes and say NO...however... At this point I can't decide if my daughter is really that cute or if my sister and Shannon are really that whoooped... :P

To their defence... Emily LOVES her new barbies and she had a GREAT day. They finger painted, made crafts, watched movies, went to McDungals for lunch and shopped what more could a girl ask for.

Thank you guys for taking her... Love you!!

Jul

FIRE!!

2007-02-03T09:05:00.000-05:00

After my last post you might think I am talking about my dryer but I am not... believe it or not I am still the very best handy WO-Man in my house ... Bow, Bow, Bow.

Last night after a 2 hour fight with the kids to get them to bed. I was doing laundry. I walked past my kitchen window and glanced through. And what did I see... FIRE. I live in a high rise building we are on the 17th floor.

Right away I had pictures of having to wake up my two kids whom I JUST got to sleep and if you are a parent you KNOW that waking up the kids after a two hour fight to get them to sleep in the first place is LAST on your list of fun things to do. I also had visions of having to carry two kids down 17 flights of stairs in the the cold winter night. AHHHHHH.

So as I watch this open flame on the balcony of a 19th floor apartment I can't see if the fire is inside the apartment or only on the balcony. SO we called 911.

Operator: "911...whats your emergency"

Me: "ummm there is a fire on a balcony two floors up from me"

Operator: "On the balcony, okay stay with me"

Me:" I don't know if I can hold on much longer...."

Operator: "is there something wrong"

Me:"Ya there is a fire"

Operator: "okay we are getting the fire department out to you right now"

Me:"oh good, You know I can't see it particularily well but it is definitly open flame and definitly on the 19th floor balcony"

Operator:"has someone pulled the fire alarm"

Me: "well no should I have?"

Operator:'when there is a fire it is advisable to warn people"

Me:"ummm that will wake up the kids"

Operator:"That's the idea"

Me: "Thats a bad Idea"

Operator:"Okay fire has been dispatched they will be there shortly"
Me:"Okay thanks.

So Me being me... I did NOT pull the alarm. It was only on the balcony. Instead I went up the the 19th floor and banged on that apartments door like I was the police... and a man about my age (28ish) opened the door and I said in raspy freaked out voice.... "DID YOU KNOW YOUR BALCONY is ON FIRE!!" and he answered me by smiling and saying "Oh no no no, I burn paper, Yes I burn paper!!" WHAT!!! YOU HAVE TO BE KIDDING ME!!!

Okay so I guess I really had a higher opinion of people... I figured that the human race had more brain cells then an ant on heroin... Seriously... OH NO I JUST burn PAPER on an open balcony on a VERY windy night OPEN FIRE... Smile...

I could have KILLED HIM...I didn't say a thing... Just OH! and I turned away and walked back to my apartment... Got in the door and my husband looks at me like "SOOOOO...." I turned to him and in my best oriental accent said "OH NO I BURN PAPER".

SO now what do I do... the idiot put out the fire on his balcony and I have already called the fire department they are on their way...do I call back and say forget it "HE JUST BURN PAPER" or wait it out do I talk to the building management? WHAT DO I DO NOW. I am so pleased that I did NOT pull the alarm and wake up my kids and everyone elses kids in the building... but I also feel like a complete and total asshole for wasting the fire departments time and energy.

I am seriously pacing back and forth down my hallway trying to think of the best thing to do when there is a knock at the door... My heart jumps into my throat... THis is it they are going to arrest me for calling in a fire ...

I open the door to see two VERY Hotty mc hot fire men standing at my door. (do you think they would want to come in for a night cap)...Opps sorry Darling it is just you I want... The older one starts taking off those fire pants... Okay Okay I will stop dreaming...

He says to me "you called in a fire" and I said "Yes I did... on the 19th floor, but I just went up there to warn him his BALCONY is on fire and he told me that he was just burning paper....I am so sorry for wasting your time I just saw open flame on a balcony and just kidn of freaked out...

And he reasured me that, I am an attractive woman and he really DOES want to come in for a night cap... but not before he goes upstair to have a talk with Mr. I burn paper first! Turns out it is illegal to burn paper on a balcony.

SO I did the right thing... but I still felt like an ass...I wonder if I will see this guy in the elevator at some time and I wonder if he is going to yell at me for getting him in trouble.

In my defence... It would have only taken one gust of wind to come pick up that paper and drop it on someone elses balcony and catch the whole building on fire...then I would have had to wake Whinny and Cryee up and take them down 17 flights of stairs... and that would have made me a very grouchy mommy!!

BTW...if anyone is interested the night cap was LOVELY ... even if just in my dreams... Love you Rob... You are the only one for me...heehee....SMOOCHES!

Handy Man!!!

2007-02-01T22:03:00.000-05:00

Okay so as handy men go my hubby is not one ... at all.. He came from a household that if a light bulb blew the closest 24 hour electritian was called in... Actually I remember destinctly staying over at his house when I was a teenager (I know GASP) and his dad was TRYING with all his might to put up a small light in the little storage room under the basement stairs.

Profanities spilled out of the room to which I had never heared a parent spew forth. After about 25 minutes of absolute verbal diareah his father pops out of the room whips the screwdriver across the room screams up the stairs for MIL to call the FUCKING electrician...at this point i can't help but burst out laughing. Because it is so odd to me that anyone would call an electrician in unless they are rewiring the house. I asked him if he needed help to which he implied that a little girl like me would be useless in this situation...good god if he couldn't complete this task then I would SURELY fail miserably.

He BOUNDS up the stairs cursing under his breath ... so while he is away I peek my pretty little head into the room and within about 3 minutes have the light wired and securly attached the the wall. I quietly slipped out of the room and sit back down with my husband. SO much for me being a silly little girl.

So if you wonder for a second why my husband does not know how to change a light bulb this will answer that question..Now in my house on the other hand if its broke we will fix it. Nothing scares us... a whole in the roof mother hand me a two by four and a bunch of those rusty nails bubba left out in the snow all winter. The 1972 pinto is on fire... just open the hood and stand back...ready aim fire as all the men (and some of the women) piss on the car... fires out now crank her over and see if she done work now... its still good, its still good...

So when our dryer broke down my dear dear misguided husbands advice was to throw that hunk of shit out. HUH why? its still good, its still good. So I say HUN its just the plug we can replace it NO PROBLEM. unhun is his reply. So I go searching...home depot. Here try this plug... got it home and took the dryer apart. WRONG plug so again Rob sugests dragging it behind our car on the highway. Ya well I dont give up that easily ... If I can't replace the whole damn cord I will just replace the broken bit.

Today that is just what I did. and BY GOLLY it worked.. Kids stand back mommas going to start her up. and my DARLING worry wart daughter pipes up... Mommy why should we stand back, is it going to blow up, catch fire, blow smoke, will their be any sacrifice of any animals. To which I comfort here...no hunny everything is going to be fine but JUST IN CASE it should blow up and burn down the house you should stand over there. To which my ever supportive husband says... Em momma isn't joking get back here and cover your head.

So I slowly turn the knob to start and push in that button and....... VOILA it works. I stand up and step back to look lovingly at my handy work and snif snif what smells like it's burning. I don't see flames and Rob is telling me to TURN it off... so I do and then I pull out the lint trap and feel behind it and OH MY GOSH... about 20 lbs of packed lint from YEARS of usage...How did that get back there... So I am pulling out handfuls of lint and we venture to turn it on again. Emily being the worry wart she is looks at me with pleading eyes to not burn the house down and again I press that button... this time I don't smell anything funny but Emily is sure she can smell it so I ask around the house... "do you smell burning" nope what about you "maybe a little" .... My dear husband then determines that the burning smell was just the dust from sitting so long burning up like when you turn the heat on for the first time in the fall. OKAY I'll buy that.

And with that determination our dryer is functional again. And at what better timing. I have about 4 mths of cloths piled up and ready to go.

Rob is impressed with my red neck abilities and the fact that he is impressed made it all that much sweeter.

Sweet dreams internet world and if you need any advice on how to rewire household appliances...Please feel free to drop me a line.. it is a twelve step program.

Step one... assembling Ikea furniture... Step two to be reveiled at a later date!!